Wednesday, December 28, 2011


Appearance:  Undeniably hilarious.  I challenge anyone to stick a dildo on your chin and not giggle.  Go on.  Try it.  Can't do it, can you?  I sure couldn't.  I looked at it and laughed.  I tried it on... and laughed.  I stuck it on my forehead and proclaimed myself The Dildocorn.  And laughed.  

I feel I should add, though, that the dildo itself is quite lovely.  We got the black version, and there are few things sexier than black latex.  It starts out dull but we've discovered that with some use it develops a lovely shine.  And using your vagina to shine your latex?  That's pretty hot.

Size & Shape:  It's pretty substantial.  Not too big, but you'll definitely want to warm up a bit before you try and use it. As far as the shape goes, it doesn't look all that exciting.  It's totally smooth, but it does have a subtle curve that feels pretty freakin' fantastic in use.

Materials:  Latex.  I was already a huge fan of latex garments, but this is the first latex toy I've tried, and I have to say, I think I'm hooked.  It's a great material for a toy, since it has a nice balance between firmness and flexibility.  The only downside - and it's not really downside for me, personally - is that you may need a bit of extra lubrication for things to be totally comfortable.  

Function:  To be perfectly honest, I was a bit hesitant to try this thing as it is intended to be used.  It just looked like it would be so awkward.  It was a good concept, but I just couldn't imagine it working that well.  So the first few times we played with it, we used it just like any other dildo.  And it was great.  

But I couldn't write this review without trying it properly at least once.  So I found my spirit of adventure, gathered myself, and stuck it on my head.  We both laughed hysterically, and got a bit distracted as we started plotting a webshow in which I would discuss very serious matters while wearing a zentai suit and my chindick (which I still think is a pretty fantastic idea).  But eventually, we steered things back into serious, sexy territory, and I... dove in, so to speak.  

In truth, it took a bit of maneuvering and fiddling to get things right.  Steering a chindick is a bit of a challenge.  That being said however, once it was in place, it quickly became quite apparent just how wrong we had been about this contraption.  

It actually works really, really well.  Miss K quite obviously enjoyed herself thoroughly, and I had plenty of fun as well.  Having the dildo there to help out made it easier to relax and enjoy myself, whereas I usually feel like I'm not quite doing enough and I need to find a way to ramp things up a bit.  

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but what it may lack in form, this thing totally makes up for in function.  Just don't expect to keep a straight face when you're wearing it.

Pros:  Latex - nice looking and cleans up easily; Nice, moderate size; Very pleasant shape;  Makes cunnilingus more enjoyable for both parties

Cons:  Looks ridiculous (though, this could be a pro, depending on how you look at things)

Overall:  It wasn't love at first sight, but The Accommodator really won me over.  If you're looking for something to spice things up, it would be well worth trying out.  Even if you didn't enjoy using it as intended, you'd still have a nice latex dildo.  You can snag it from Cal Exotics for only $26.99.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Review: Cal Exotics Bound by Diamonds Diamond Teaser

This time of year is pretty busy for most people, and we're no exception. Still, it was a wonderful surprise when our next toy to review arrived. We've only had mere minutes of free time this month, rather than hours of playtime, but with this powerful little vibe - the Bound by Diamonds Diamond Teaser by Cal Exotics -  minutes are all you need. Make sure you have a few AAA batteries and a nice comfy, sturdy spot. 

Appearance:  one of my favorites, black and chrome with little rhinestones in the controller

Size & Shape: small and compact, because....well it's a bullet

Materials: ABS plastic with a lovely satin finish, which makes it feel nice and luxurious.

Controls: very simple and easy to use - just two buttons on the controller.  The top button turns the toy on and increases the spead while the bottom button slows things down and eventually turns the toy off.

Vibration Strength: 5 levels, very intense, especially considering how little it is. There's an especially noticeable difference between level three and two - from a strong rumble to a toe-curling, spine-tingling buzz - but even level one is  strong enough for me. All the way up to level five is breathtakingly wonderful.

Noise: this is not a particularly quiet toy, I have to say, certainly not on the higher speeds

Pros: This is one of our strongest vibes, and it's a great value. It's a very pretty little toy. and it's certainly small enough to store pretty much anywhere. 

Cons: It's not especially quiet, but I'd rather have a nice intense vibe than a superquiet one. It might be a little too intense for some, particularly on the higher levels, but there's no reason you can't stick with the first level in that case. 

Overall: This is a well-made, inexpensive, strong bullet. The only downside is the noise level being a bit high, but to us that's pretty minor. 

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Review: Cal Exotics First Time Softee Pleaser

Some of the toys we receive get ripped out of their packaging immediately and tested out the moment we're both at home with nothing more pressing to attend to.  Others, due to a variety of circumstances, get set aside and have to wait a bit.  It's not that we aren't excited about them.  Life just has other plans some days.  But whenever a toy gets set aside, it seems like a perfect opportunity always presents itself.  Perhaps it's just a coincidence.  Or perhaps the Sex Toy Gods are smiling upon us.  Whatever the case, it's wonderfully serendipitous.  

Our most recent acquisition, the First Time Softee Pleaser from Cal Exotics was one such toy.  It arrived in the midst of a few rather busy days.  We kept saying to each other, "Hey, we need to try out our new little friend" and then being entirely to tired to do so by the time we got finished with everything else.  And then one evening, Miss K suggested we have a bath together.  Immediately, the proverbial lightbulb over my head lit up, and while she was filling up the tub, I ran upstairs to grab our new toy.  I just happened to remember that it was waterproof, so what better environment in which to test it out than the bath?

We were quickly and thoroughly impressed by the remarkable power of this little vibe.  If you're looking for a good, powerful vibe that won't break the bank, you can't go wrong with this one.  It's at least as powerful as the Warm-n-Glow Vibe we reviewed last month, but it has the added advantage of a nice, squishy outer layer and a better shape for insertion.

Now let's take a look at the details shall we?

Manufacturer:  Cal Exotics


Appearance:  Cute!  Ours is pink, but it also comes in purple.  It's smooth and sleek and quite feminine.

Size & Shape:  Great!  It's big enough to be satisfying without being too big.  And the shape, with that little bend at the tip, is just right for hitting the G spot.

Materials:  Very nice.  The vibe itself is hard ABS plastic, which transmits vibrations wonderfully.  But what makes this little baby a cut above your standard plastic vibe is the soft plastic sleeve.  It's wonderfully squishy and feels fantastic, but it's still thin enough that it doesn't hinder the vibrations.  Plus, with the hard plastic underneath, you have plenty of control, and if a little pressure is what you need, you can get it.  All in all, it's the best of both worlds.

Controls:  Not bad.  To turn the vibe on and off and control the speed, you turn the dial on the bottom.  This gives you a lot of control over the speed.  You can go from Barely Noticeable Buzz to Small Jet Engine as quickly or as slowly as you like, and hit any point in between as well.  If you're going to take advantage of this toy's waterproof-ness, note that the controls can be a bit difficult to operate with wet hands.  

Also, the dial is part of the battery cap, which means that if you turn it the wrong way, you'll open the battery compartment.  This isn't such a big deal on dry land, but it could be bad news in the tub, so make sure you only turn the dial on the end - not the entire cap!

Runs On:  2 AAA batteries

Vibration Strength:  Variable.  On the lowest setting it's barely a whisper.  Crank it all the way up and...  well, you better buckle your seatbelt and hold on tight. It's amazing.  I'm pretty sure you could find a speed to please absolutely anyone.

Noise:  Also variable.  It's not too bad on the lowest settings, but on the upper end, it sounds like a small jet engine too.  If you're trying to keep quiet, you'd be better to look elsewhere.  That being said, using it in the water does muffle the sound quite a bit.  

Pros:  Wonderful size and shape; incredible range of speed and strength, nice materials

Cons:  Controls can be somewhat troublesome; very noisy on higher settings

Overall:  I'd give this one an A.  It's a really nice vibe for only $15, and as the name suggests, it would be great for a novice toy user.  But don't think it doesn't offer plenty for the more experienced.  With it's nice mid-range size and variable speed, I'd recommend this vibe to pretty much anyone.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Review: Cal Exotics Warm-n-Glow Vibe

Well, folks, we're finally all moved into our new house, and though there's still a lot of unpacking to be done, we've settled in quite nicely.  Our refrigerator is full, the DVD player is hooked up, approximately 1/3 of our library has been unpacked, and the UPS guy has found us.  He came meandering up our driveway last week while I was organizing bath products and dropped off a lovely gift from those fine folks at Cal Exotics.

Of course, I pranced back into the house and opened the package immediately.  And this is what greeted me:

The Warm-n-Glow Vibe, which is just what it sounds like - a vibrator that warms up and glows.  It definitely looked cool.  And so I immediately ran off in search of batteries.  Fortunately, I packed the batteries in the same box as necessities like our hammer and tape measure, so they had already been unearthed.  So I popped in a couple of AA's, pushed the button, and smiled like a shark as our new little friend sprang to life.  I couldn't wait to get ahold of Mistress K with this thing.  

There were two things I noted right away:

1) There was indeed an almost immediate, rather subtle, but very nice warming effect


2) This little thing was a powerhouse.  Seriously.

I have to confess that I gave serious thought to running off and trying it myself right then and there.  But I didn't.  I decided to wait for Miss K to come home instead.  It was a long wait.  But well worth it.  

We have collected a number of vibes by now, most of which have various speeds.  Their "low" settings are rarely used around here.  Miss K and I both prefer good, strong vibrations.  None of this subtlety crap for us.  Oh, no.  So I did what I usually do - turned our new friend on, teased my squirming Mistress with the low setting for a minute or two, then switched to the higher setting and really got things going.

That's how it usually goes anyway.  This time, however, was a little different.  For one thing, I cannot, in good conscience, use the term "teasing" in conjunction with the "low" setting on this vibe.  I hesitate to even use the word "low."  Because there's really nothing low about it.  The settings are more like "high" and "really high."  Which, if you're like us, is great.  It just required a bit more of a warm-up than I'm used to.  A third, lower setting would be nice for that purpose and for those who prefer things a bit less intense, but I'm not about to complain.  Once you are good and warmed up those nice, strong vibrations are absolutely delicious.

Another nice feature is the warming effect.  It's subtle, but definitely noticeable, and it feels very nice.  The "glow" part of Warm-n-Glow is pretty cool too.  If you're a sci-fi geek like I am, it will probably call to mind an alien probe or some such, which could make for some very interesting roleplay scenarios, if you're into that sort of thing.  Always a nice bonus.

The size and shape are pretty perfect as well.  It's not made for any sort of deep thrusting, but it can be inserted, and it feels fantastic.  What makes this toy really great, however, is the flexible joint in the middle that allows you to get the angle just right no matter how you're using it.  It's nice to use on a partner because you don't have to contort yourself into any uncomfortable positions.  And if you're flying solo, you needn't worry about those damnable wrist cramps that you get with less flexible toys.  

The Warm-n-Glow Vibe is made of ABS plastic, which I would normally consider a minor drawback, but it's a very nice plastic with a smooth, satin finish that feels great and transmits those powerful vibrations far better than any other material could.  It runs on 2 AA batteries, and I was initially worried that it would devour them, but they've lasted through two reasonably lengthy playtime sessions so far, and seem to be running strong soon.  

Of all the Cal Exotics toys we've tried thus far, I'd say this one is the best.  The quality is really outstanding for a vibe that retails for just $20.  I would wholeheartedly recommend this toy to absolutely anyone who's in the market for a new vibe.  I can't recommend it enough.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Review: Cal Exotics Lighted Shimmers LED Glider Teaser

This was a nice little surprise, as we weren't expecting it, in the middle of moving.  Unexpected packages are always a nice.  Unexpected packages containing sex toys?  I don't know about you, but that's enough to make my day.

This month, the lovely folks at Cal Exotics sent us the Lighted Shimmers LED Glider Teaser. It's certainly a pretty little toy, with its sparkly pink controller.  The bullet is a nice translucent pink as well, and both are made of ABS plastic.

The bullet also lights up, though it wasn't dark enough in our bedroom to really appreciate it and the light seemed a bit weak.  

There's a little wheel on the side of the controller to turn the vibe on and off and change the intensity level, and it's a little unwieldy to use.  I had a hard time operating it with one hand, but it should be noted that I have really small hands.  If yours are larger than the average ten-year-old's, you'll probably be fine.

As for the important part, it's a nice little vibe, but a little too weak to be my favorite.  Also our batteries died really quickly.  But they were batteries we happened to have lying around, so they may have been old.  We haven't had the chance yet to try a fresh set - did I mentions we're moving? - but once we do, we'll be sure to share the results. 

All in all, this a nice little toy.  At only $17.99 it certainly won't break the bank, and would be a great gift for your favorite toy novice or anyone enjoys a lower intensity vibe.

Appealing color
Variable speed/intensity
Novelty of the light-up feature 
A pretty good little bullet for a reasonable price
Would be great for someone who likes a lower-intensity vibe 
Would make a great gift 

Might possibly be a battery hog 
A little too weak for us
Potentially unwieldy controls

Monday, July 25, 2011

Review: Cal Exotics Foreplay Ice Chill

Being a big fan of Cal Exotics and their high quality, affordable toys, I was quite excited to become an official Cal Exotics Sexpert.  This means I get a new toy to review every month!  And my first package could not have come at a better time.

It has been one hot month.  Just stepping outside for a few minutes to water the plants or check the mail is enough to leave you feeling roasted.  So when we came home one day after a sweltering round of errand running, in need of a quick way to cool off, I smiled smugly and ran to the freezer.  But I was not seeking popsicles or ice cream sandwiches.  Oh, no.  I had a vibrator in my freezer.

I see that face your making.  I vibrator?  In the freezer?  Really?  

Yep.  Those innovative folks at Cal Exotics have created a whole line of freezable vibes.  They sent me the Foreplay Ice Chill, which consists of a small silicone "handle," a mold, and a bullet vibe.  You fill the mold with water, place the handle on top, and pop the whole thing in the freezer.  Once it's frozen 2-4 hours later, you take it out, peel the mold off, and place the bullet in the hole in the middle of the handle.  And voila!  You have what amounts to a textured, vibrating ice cube.

Preparation is just a wee bit fiddly.  There is a line on the mold show you how much to fill it, but you still have to experiment a bit to get just the right level so that when you put the handle in, the water comes to the top but doesn't overflow.  Once it's frozen the mold peels off easily.  So all I had to do was grab it, peel the mold off, toss it aside, and insert the bullet - all of which took only a minute or two.  

I must confess, I'm a bit of a sadist, so when Miss K. started squealing and squirming when I trailed the ice along her arm, I couldn't wait to have a go at her more sensitive bits.  And I learned two things very quickly.  1) The ice is much too cold to be used for direct clitoral stimulation for any length of time at all, and 2) the vibration through the silicone and ice is barely noticeable.  Just the other day, Miss K. turned things around on me, and I learned something else.  I really underestimated just how cold that ice really is.  Especially on your girly bits.  Brrrrrr!  

Overall, the Foreplay Ice Chill is a nice toy.  It's fun, especially if you enjoy a bit of teasing and torment - which we certainly do.  The ice melts slowly enough that you can have a good bit of fun with it, but quickly enough that you don't get bored before it's gone.  Plus, once the ice is all melted, the bullet can be easily removed from the handle and the fun can continue.  And let me tell you, though it doesn't do much when everything is put together, on its own that bullet is a little powerhouse.  

So if you're in the market for a good bullet vibe and something to spice up your foreplay - or something to keep you from having a heatstroke when it's 90+ degrees and you have no air conditioning - the Foreplay Ice Chill would be a good buy.  

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

e[lust] #27

Photo courtesy of A Bedroom Blog
Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOU - What ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.
Performances - So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.
10 reasons why I shouldn't have had sex, but did anyway - I’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
Energy Orgasms - There is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.
e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
A response to: #Slutwalk will not show our daughters how to get respect
Accidents Happen
All the Time in the World
Dear Jane: How Do I Gain Sensitivity Back After Masturbating Too Much?
Friday Flix: 10 Things We Would Like to Say
Hole. Confession #573
Look at me (please)
Lusting After Sexually Confident Women and HNT
Oh Really?
Sex Toy Collecting
Why Can't I Orgasm?
Kink & Fetish
5 Kinky Toys from the Restaurant Supply Store
A Piece of Meat
Being a Domme, Alone
Daddy's Good Girl
Emotional Masochism
Fucktoy Friday: Urethra Play
Good Morning
Inexorable Love
More Adventures in Chastity
New figure nudes
Erotic Writing
Continentally Close
First Memory of Sex with Nicole
Far From the Madding Crowd
First kiss
green candle wax
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Lusty Lips
My first swinging experience
Seducing my Professor
sexy bitch/sexy beast
Strapping On For the First Time
seminar slut
To seduce you
The Minotaur
Twisted Words
The Heist
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Gender Celebration Blog Carnival – A Call for Submissions
Marilyn Monroe: A Sex Goddess Searches For Her Elusive Orgasm
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Thursday, June 23, 2011

Review: Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo

If you've ever read or heard any advice ever about improving your sex life - having orgasms, having better orgasms, having more orgasms - then chances are, you've heard about kegel exercises.  The consensus seems to be that if you have any interest in sex at all, you ought to be doing them.  And why not?  They're pretty simple.  All you have to do is alternately tighten and release your pubococcygeus - or PC - muscle, the same one you use to start and stop the flow of urine when you tinkle.  Piece of cake, right?

But kegel exercises aren't like bicep curls or any other strength training exercise.  And if you're anything like me, you may wonder if you're doing it right or doing enough or if you're even using the right muscle at all.  How do you know?  Well, fortunately for us, there happen to be a number of products on the market that are made for exercising your PC muscle.

One such product is FunFactory's Smartballs Teneo.  These lightly weighted silicone balls, when inserted vaginally, cause your PC muscle to automatically contract, providing the exercise needed without any conscious effort on your part (wouldn't it be nice if all exercise was like that?).  So all you have to do is insert them/it - the Smartballs come in singles and, for a more intense workout, doubles - and go on about your business.  While you're doing the dishes/grocery shopping/ballroom dancing/whatever the balls work their magic and your PC muscle gets a great workout.  

That's the theory anyway.  So how well does it really work?  Fantastically.  

As soon as I opened my box from Good Vibrations, who were kind enough to send me one of these little guys to try, I knew I was in for a treat.  They sent me the single-ball version in pink, which peeked out enticingly from Fun Factory's sleek, grey packaging.  I opened it to find, in addition to the product itself, an instruction sheet, a pamphlet featuring some of the company's other products, and a sample packet of lube.  And when I picked up the Smartball itself, I couldn't wait to have it inside me.

It's made of a deliciously smooth silicone, but the pattern on it's surface gives it some texture.  It's about 1.5" in diameter - substantial but not overly large.  It's hollow inside, and if you shake it, you can hear and feel the little weighted ball that rattles around and provides the "vibration"* that stimulates your PC muscle and makes this whole thing work.

I learned a couple of things about the Smartballs right off the bat.  Firstly, you definitely need to use lube when you insert them.  The silicone is nice and smooth, but it's not slick.  Without proper lubrication, it would tend to stick and drag against your skin, and that is not a sensation you want where your junk is concerned.  So lube up, honey.  Secondly, when it comes to the Smartballs, quicker is better.  This is not a dildo.  It doesn't start out small and get bigger toward the base.  It's pretty much one size.  And that one size is pretty substantial.  

The first time I inserted my ball, I tried to take it slowly and gently, eeeeasing it it.  Fortunately, there is a little groove at the base for you finger that makes this much easier.  Still, it was pretty uncomfortable until it finally sort of popped in.  I have sense discovered that you're better off using what I like to call the "band-aid method."  Taking off a band-aid is uncomfortable, and there's not getting around it, so you just rip it off as quickly as possible.  Similarly, inserting the Smartballs is slightly uncomfortable, and there's no getting around it, so it's best to just shove them in as quickly as possible.  Of course, you should use your noodle here.  If the discomfort is anything more than minor or there is any pain involved, STOP.  Do not pass go.  Do not stick these things in your vagina.  Some people just might not be able to use these.  

All that being said, this is the only downside I've discovered.  Once their in, the Smartballs are quite comfortable.  Not to mention, pleasurable.  Whenever you move, that little weighted ball inside the Smartballs' shell moves too.  And you can feel it.  It's a very unique sensation, and I honestly don't know how to describe it other than to say it feels really nice.  And if you get them positioned right, the Smartballs will also stimulate your g-spot - which is probably part of the reason for their size.  I don't think I need to tell you how nice that is.  Plus, you can tell they're working.  You can feel your PC muscle contracting, so you know you're getting the workout you need.

Removing the Smartballs is much like inserting them - best done quickly.  All you need to do is pull the loop, but you need to do so a bit more forcefully than you would think.  The loop is made of silicone as well, so it will stretch.  I find pulling firmly and quickly is best.  There's a similar minor discomfort as when inserting.  The stimulation is just so intense.  But then the ball pops out and, if you're anything like me, you're left laying there going, "Wow..." for a moment.

All in all, I love the Smartballs.  They're easy to use, effective, and totally discreet.  You could wear these anywhere, during virtually any activity and - unless you have trouble concealing your... uh... true feelings - no one would ever have any idea.  Since they're silicone, they're a snap to clean up.  Just wash them with a little mild soap, and you're good to go.  

I don't think I've worn them long enough or consistently enough to produce any major, lasting results, but I have no doubt that these would definitely help to strengthen your PC muscle.  I've definitely developed a greater awareness of mine.  And long-term benefits aside, these are just fun to use.  Even if you just use them occasionally to make your household chores a bit more interesting, I think they're well worth it.  

What Miss K has to say:  
I wore the Smartball to work for an afternoon, as my job is pretty active. It was a little difficult to get in at first, but nothing that a little lube didn't help. And once it was in place, it stayed perfectly, no matter if I was walking, sitting, stretching, bending over, whatever. That little weight is certainly interesting. =) The Smartball is totally fine for getting in your Kegel exercises. At times I even forgot it was in there. But not for too long. =) I don't think I've used it enough to be able to tell the difference, but I'm sure I will soon, and even if not, it's certainly lots of fun. 

So there you have it.  Miss K. and I both give the Smartballs Teneo a big thumbs up.  Head on over to Goodvibes now and get yours for 15% off!

  *They say "vibration," but we're not talking vibration in the traditional, battery-operated, vroom-vroom sense.  I can't really think of a better word for it, though, so... yeah.  We'll just call it vibration.
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Monday, June 20, 2011

Make It Yourself Monday: Symtoys

So you wanna make your own vibrator.  Or maybe the idea of making your own vibrator has never crossed your mind, but you do enjoy tinkering with electronics.  Or maybe you've always wanted to try tinkering with electronics and just never got around to it, but making a vibrator seems like just the project to get you started.  Or maybe you don't really have any interest in electronics at all, but you would like to see some great, simple do-it-yourself ideas.

Whatever the case, Symtoys certainly warrants a visit.  Along with instruction for several different homemade vibrators, the site also shows you how to make this totally rad lighted spreader bar:

Pretty sweet, huh?  And all of these projects seem totally doable, even if you don't have a great deal of experience with this sort of thing.  I've never done anything like this myself, but I'd feel pretty comfortable giving it a shot with these tutorials, and maybe a little extra research.

That being said, if you're not comfortable working with electronics, there are still plenty of ideas here to keep you occupied.  In addition to how-tos for things like a latex catsuit (which is pretty ingenious) and an ice dildo (which could be great fun if used wisely and cautiously), you'll also find instructions for some basic rope ties and some great, detailed and creative scene ideas.

This site is chock full of inspiration wherever your interests lie, and I highly recommend it to anyone with kinky leanings.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Review: SpareParts Pete Packer Underwear Trunks

If you have any interest in packing for any reason at all whatsoever, you need a pare of SpareParts' Pete Packer underwear.  If you've considered packing, but have never tried it because you were concerned about comfort and/or security, you need these.  If you've been packing for years with a packing strap or plain ol' undies, you need these.  If you want to pack every day or just every once in a while when the mood strikes, you need these.  There is, quite simply, no better packing method in terms of long-term comfort and security.  

I know because I tried them all* so you could see how Pete stacks up against his competitors.  But first, let's get to know Pete...

The Pete Packer underwear line is made by SpareParts, who you may know as the creators of the incredibly awesome Jocque harness.  They're available in four styles - trunks, briefs, bikinis, and a "commando" style, which is sort of a bikini-style brief for the minimalists out there who like to let it all hang out.  Being a fan of boxer-briefs already, I chose the trunks.  

Currently, the only color available is classically sexy, goes-with-anything black, but considering the range of colors the Jocque harness is available in, I wouldn't be surprised to see more options added the lineup later.  The fabric is a nylon/spandex blend (just like the Jocque), which offers a snug fit and plenty of breathability.  Plus they're totally machine washable.  Basically, they're like a pair of high-end bike shorts with a handy, dandy pecker-pocket.

They're available at Babeland, where you'll also find some nice packers, binders, and tons of awesome sex toys all presented in a friendly, positive, and totally classy manner.  They were kind enough to send me a pair of Petes in exchange for an honest review.  I also purchased this packer from them, which is the one I used for all  my testing.

I tried each packing method for an entire day, from the time I got dressed in the morning until I tore off my clothes and slipped into something more comfortable in the evening.  I went through my normal daily activities, which I must admit includes a lot of sitting on the couch typing things.  But I also did some household chores - cleaning out closets, doing laundry, loading the dishwasher.  I didn't do any jogging or biking or anything particularly active, though I did make it a point to jump around a bit and try to get an idea of how things would hold up under more rigorous trials.  So, let's see how things stacked up...

Pete Packer Trunks

Comfort:  These are incredibly comfortable.  The fabric is wonderful.  It feels very nice against your skin, and it's quite breathable, so your butt doesn't get all sweaty.  They have a wide waistband that stays put and doesn't roll.  The only comfort issue I had at all was that the legs had a tendency to roll up.  It should be noted, however, that I have somewhat chubby thighs, which may contribute to the problem, and regular boxer-briefs do the very same thing.  Personally, I'd rather deal with rolling legs than wedgies.  But if the leg thing would bug you, I'd go for one of the other styles.

Security:  Rock solid.  The packer sits in it's own little pocket.  The shaft slips through a hole in the inner pocket so that, if you were using an STP packer, it would be accessible.  Then there's a little elastic strap in the inner pocket that you slip over the balls to hold them in place, leaving you with one neat, secure package.  Everything stays right where you put it all day long.  No slipping, no shifting, no need to adjust.  I'm pretty sure you could run a marathon in these things and you're little friend wouldn't budge.  
I haven't worked my way up to packing public yet (I have a lot of anxiety about trying to pass that I'm working through), but it's nice to know that when I do, I won't have to worry about whether or not my packer is going to stay put.  Especially when it comes to using the bathroom.  I imagine these would make using an STP device even easier, but if you don't have one or just prefer to do your business sitting down, you're still good to go.  Since the packer has it's own pocket, there's no need to worry about it slithering away when you drop your drawers.  I don't know about you, but that makes me feel a whole lot better about the entire prospect.

Ease of Wear:  Fantastic.  Once you get them set up there is literally nothing you have to worry about for the rest of the day.  I never had to adjust them at all.  It was just like wearing my regular undies, just with a little something extra.  Best of all, everything felt perfectly natural.  I didn't have any of those jarring, "oh, wait, this isn't actually my penis" moments.  In fact, the one jarring moment I did have was the first time I went to the bathroom and remembered that I couldn't pee standing up.  Now, that's not something I've been terribly bothered about before.  Sure, it'd be cool, but standing to pee was not a priority for me.  When I was packing with Pete, however, it seemed incredibly strange to me that I could not do so.  

What Miss K. Has to Say:  Packing is relatively new to us, and it's lots of fun. The trunks only add to the excitement. They look and behave just like regular underwear, so much so that I don't mind adding them to our clothesline along with the rest of the laundry on a nice sunny day. And the confidence they give my sweetheart is easily the best part. Whether by plain good luck or whatever you'd like to credit, the packer we chose is a perfect match for her skintone. It looks 100% realistic, especially with these trunks.  

SpareParts Jocque Harness

Comfort:  Quite comfy.  I was worried that wearing this under my jeans might be a bit uncomfortable what with the buckles and all, but it really wasn't.  The buckles are so fantastically made that they somehow manage not to pinch or even dig in unless you pull the straps especially tight. Once you've adjusted the straps, they stay right where you want them.  They don't shift at all.  Overall, I found the harness to be just as comfortable as the trunks.  You'll just want to be sure you wear something with a little extra room in the hips/waist to accommodate the extra bulk of the harness' waistband.

Security:  Very secure.  The pouch on the harness is actually very similar to the pouch on the trunks.  The only difference is that is no extra outer pouch on the harness and the hole through which the shaft fits is stretchier, to accommodate a wider range of sizes.  The lack of an outer pocket means your dick is gonna be swingin' in the breeze.  If you want the commando feel, you could certainly get it with the harness.  Or you could wear regular undies over the harness to keep things in place, which is what I did (mostly because I didn't want to risk damaging my shiny new packer).  Again, as far security goes, I found the harness to be pretty much equal to the trunks, due to the similar design. 

Ease of Wear:  Not bad.  The harness was comfortable and secure, but definitely more problematic at potty time.  It would probably still be fairly easy to use a STP packer with it, but if you have to sit, it gets to be a bit troublesome having to deal with pulling everything down and back up and adjusting all of the layers.  Now, if you left out the extra underwear layer, it might be better, but the harness still requires a bit more fiddling than the trunks do.  All in all, the harness was still pretty easy to deal with.  If you already have one or intend to get one and you're only planning on packing occasionally, it would certainly be a viable option.  But I wouldn't want to wear it for packing every day.

What Miss K. Has to Say:  We've looked at a lot of harnesses in the past year or two. We finally bought a beginner version with our rabbit vibe from Cal Exotics, and while it was ok, it was never all that easy to use. We have different hip sizes and adjusting the leg straps was a bit of a pain. We had just about decided on a nice leather harness from Aslan. And then we randomly happened upon a demo video on Babeland for this harness. We were sold. It's perfectly comfortable, extremely well-made and easy to adjust. It's easy to wear. SpareParts did everything right with this one, and I can't recommend it enough. 

Regular Boxer-Briefs

Comfort:  Pretty comfy.  I find boxer-briefs quite comfortable one their own (aside from aforementioned leg rolling issue), and adding a packer didn't really change that much.  I did, however, find the packer itself to be less comfortable because the lack of an extra pocket means the packer rest directly against your body.  It wasn't that bad, but it did tend to catch on hairs and make it's presence known in little, slightly annoying ways.

Security:  Better than expected.  The packer definitely shifted a lot more than with either of the other methods, but it didn't try to slither out of my pants or anything.  Mostly the base just didn't want to stay against my body.  It tended to kind of twist and sit sideways, which wasn't a major problem, and could probably be solved by wearing your undies a size smaller.  It didn't feel nearly as secure as the other methods, but it would certainly work in a pinch.  This might also work with briefs, though I think they'd feel even less secure without the legs to help keep things in place.

Ease of Wear:  Okay.  It wasn't as comfortable and it didn't feel as secure, but it wasn't too bad.  The biggest problem came, once again, at tinkle time.  If you were using an STP packer, I imagine you'd have to work a bit harder to hold it in place just because the regular underwear don't help keep things in place as much as Pete or Jocque.  If you're not using an STP packer, then you have to be careful when you drop your drawers that you don't also drop your dick.  That could definitely be awkward if you were in public.  Even if you're not, it's kind of a hassle.  And of course, when you're done you have to reposition everything again.  It may not seem like much trouble, but compared to wearing Pete, this seems like a big pain in the butt.

What Miss K. Has to Say: Boxers are awesome and awesomely comfortable. And there's something quite wonderful about man-undies on my girlfriend. =) But for packing, boxers alone just don't work anything like the trunks. In conclusion, you just can't go wrong with SpareParts' Pete Packer underwear. 

So there you have it.  In my opinion, the SpareParts Pete Packer Underwear are the best packing method in terms of comfort, security, and convenience.  I highly recommend them to anyone interested in packing.  Many thanks to Babeland for sending me a pair to try!

*Almost.  The only method I didn't try was a packing strap because I didn't have one, and I didn't really have the extra cash to buy one solely for the sake of testing.  That being said, every review I've seen says they're generally okay, but the straps have a tendency to ride up and/or twist.

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Monday, June 13, 2011

Make It Yourself Monday: Pony Boots

If you're familiar with pony play at all, then you've probably seen these:

Pony boots from Punitive Shoes
Hoof boots are probably the one item most coveted by ponies everywhere.  Just look at them!  They're gorgeous, and about as realistic as one can feasibly get.  They're also expensive.  I'm sure their cost is justified   - these aren't your average, run-of-the-mill, mass-produced pumps we're talking about - but that doesn't make them any easier to afford.

So what's a pony to do?  Well, if one happens to be an industrious, hard-working pony with some sculpting and casting abilities, one could potentially make one's own boots.  How?  This page will tell you.

The idea is pretty simple.  You start with a regular pair of high-heeled platform boots, sculpt the basic hoof shape onto the platform in clay, then coat the clay in several layers of liquid latex to make a mold.  A two-part epoxy resin is then poured into the molds, which forms the hoof portion.  Then the heel is sawed off, everything gets cleaned up and sanded, and voila - your very own hoof boots.

Of course, that's a vastly simplified version.  You'll definitely want to go read the page carefully if you want to actually try this.  And you may want to experiment with the sculpting and casting process a bit before you take  on such a large and involved project.  

That being said, if any brave soul reading this does decide to try this or if you already have, we'd love to hear about it!  And for that matter, if you've made any of your own gear at all - pony tack or not - do drop us a comment or email us at mylittleponygirl[at]gmail[dot]com.  We'd love to feature your work!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Flix: 10 Things We Would Like to Say

Caricature on "The great epidemic of porn...                      Image via Wikipedia
We like porn.  Many an evening we have curled up on the couch together with the laptop and watched videos until it was time for bed or we just couldn't keep our hands of each other any longer, whichever came first.  Now, it bears mention that most of the porn we watch is free stuff that we find on Youporn or similar sites.  Though, we keep finding sites that we would love to subscribe to if we had the extra cash, and maybe someday we will.  But I digress. The point is, we watch a fair amount of porn, most of which is okay but not great, and could be vastly improved if they would just listen to us.

So, without further adieu, here are 10 things we would like to say to the folks who make these videos...

1. Spit  Lube  
This is my biggest pet peeve, by far.  It fills me with something akin to irrational rage.  Every time I see a girl spit on her partners genitals to lubricate them, I want to smack her.  Maybe some people have a thing for spitting and actually think this is hot, but I decidedly do not.  You know what would be hot?  Actually using LUBE.

2. As a general rule, things that are not body parts or toys do not belong in someone's body.
I can't watch someone being penetrated with a random household object and actually enjoy it.  I'm far too distracted thinking of all the ways in which rubbing your clit with a wooden spoon or inserting a small, glass bottle into someone's vagina is a really bad idea.  Don't you think splinters might be an issue?  Did you sterilize that thing?  What if it breaks?  DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHERE THAT THING HAS BEEN?

It makes me feel like a parent watching a bunch of toddlers who are at that age where they like to stick everything in the mouth, and I feel like I should smack them on the hand and tell them "No, no.  That's dirty.  Ick."  I mean, really.

And considering the vast array of awesome sex toys available that are actually made for this purpose, there is really no excuse.  If you're doing it for the taboo, to be edgy and unique, why not spring for the Jesus dildo instead?

3. Yes, you do need lube.
If I'm going to see any sort of anal action, I want to see lube being used.  End of story.  No exceptions.  Otherwise I'm just going to cringe thinking about how uncomfortable that has to be.  And that's not sexy.

4.  A sex swing in a "dungeon" does not a bondage video make.
I don't care how bleak and foreboding the background looks, how many chains there are hanging from the ceiling, how much latex/pvc/leather the performers are wearing, if no one is tied up, it isn't bondage.  A sex swing is not a bondage tool.  It can certainly be used as such, but you're not using it that way, don't call it that,  damn it.  False advertisement is really irritating.

5.  Sanitation is sexy.  
Folks, it is never, ever, ever, okay to take something out of someones butt and stick it in their vag without cleaning the hell out of it first.  Never.  It is definitely not okay to alternate between the two, willy-nilly, whenever the mood strikes.  Vag, ass, ass, vag, ass, vag, NO.  YOU. SHOULD. NOT. DO. THIS.  For the same reason you should always wipe from front to back and not the other way around.  The various bacterias and things that hang out in your intestines do not get along well with your lady bits and will cause nasty, unpleasant infections.  You do not want this, and I really hate to see things like this portrayed in porn.  There is nothing sexy about stupidly unsanitary activities.  Speaking of which...

This is just a major squick for me, especially if there's no dental dam. It's not sanitary. It might feel pleasant but it just seems terribly selfish and uncaring. Unless your partner happens to enjoy licking buttholes, in which case YOU SHOULD STILL BE USING A DENTAL DAM.  See above.

7.  Being a bitch does not make you a Domme.
Yes, you can be a bitch while being a domme. Sometimes you need to be. But being bitchy is not what being a domme is about. And this is something that makes Mistress want to smack a bitch. :)

8.  If it's categorized as "lesbian" porn, there had better not be a penis in it.
I'm a lesbian. I find women attractive. Adult women with lovely lady parts. Not men. That's why I'm not bi. Some people are and that's wonderful. Really, truly wonderful. But if I'm looking for lesbian porn, there had better not be any organic penises around. Fakes are totally welcome.

9.  Latex and PVC are not the same thing.
Yes, they're both shiny. But latex is so much hotter. And like the lesbian porn with the cocks in it, I'm really unhappy when I click on something that promises me latex and serves up PVC. Thanks for nothing, Buzzkillington.

10.  We can tell when you're faking it.
Everyone's different, true. But there's nothing attractive about fake orgasms, ladies. I say ladies because I can't imagine how a guy could fake it. :\
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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Thoroughbred Thursday: Empty Pasture

Pony - 27 November 2008Image by Marion Doss via Flickr

Sometimes I wish I had a foot fetish (I'm more a shoe person) or a spanking fetish (I do enjoy a good spanking, but not enough to call it a fetish) or some other "popular" fetish.  Foot porn and spanking videos are pretty easy to come by.  There's a huge, active forum for latex enthusiasts.  And if you're into animal roleplay of the furry variety, you're certainly not alone.
I know this because I have been searching for a similar community devoted to pony play or animal roleplay/human animal play/pet play, in general.  Google, of course, does not make the important distinction between human animals and furries.  So I've found lots of furry communities.  And none of what I was looking for.  At least, nothing active.

I don't know what happened.  Maybe it's just a coincidence.  But every pony and/or pet play forum I found seemed to have died months or even years ago.  Did I miss something?  Even the forum associated with the pony play authority, Equus Eroticus, had no recent posts.  And when I finally gave up on forums and resigned myself to Yahoo groups, the rather long list I found turned out to contain precisely one single group that had been recently active.  I joined, of course, and soon that the group wasn't half as active as I'd hoped.

Needless to say, this quest was quite disappointing.  I was sure that when I started looking, I would find the community I sought.  Because there should be such a community.  There needs to be.  Information about pony play - beyond the very basics and where to find your tack - isn't easy to come by.  Equus Eroticus does post some great, informative articles, but you can't ask an article a question.  Reading articles isn't the same as discussing and sharing ideas and information with a group of like-minded individuals.

Something very important seems to be missing here, and I'm wondering what to do about it.  Should I keep digging?  Is the community I seek just buried deeper than I've dug so far?  Maybe someone out there can point me in the right direction...  Or maybe this is a case of  "if you build it, they will come."  Perhaps, if I want this sort of community, I need to create it.

I don't know.  At this point, I'm feeling a bit lost in this wide, empty pasture.  Is there anybody out there?  Hellooooooo?
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Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Wanton Wednesday: Freedom Defined

Freedom can be many things.  It all depends on your point of view...

I.  Illusion
It is no ardent caress he desires.  He does not long for love (for he knows he is unworthy of it) but aches for release.  Release from the shackles of thought and memory, from the prison his own mind has created.  How ironic that he can find his escape only in chains.  Only in the searing sting of the cane across his backside.  Only in the dull ache between his shoulder blades as his arms are forced up and back until he thinks that the bones might pop from their sockets at any moment.  Only in the scratching and poking and slicing of those long, sharp talons along his cheek and his throat, down his back and around his cock. 

One single, ill-timed movement, he knows, could easily carry him past the threshold of masochistic pleasure and into a realm of true, agonizing torture.  But that knowledge only serves to arouse him further, eliciting a quiet moan as his Master squeezes.  For one so restrained, it may as well be a scream.  He feels his cheeks flush, and the low, mocking chuckle he hears tells him that his Master has noticed and takes pleasure in his embarrassment. 

And it has only just begun.  

II.  Reality
Not for the first time, she considered the concept of worship. What did devotion and trust really mean? For most, perhaps the answer would come from a dictionary, some pat little summary with no real heart in it. She had never been one to accept the easy, simple answer.

She smoothed her hands over the stockings she’d slipped into, ensuring that the latex laid exactly as she wanted it to. She stood to cross the room, heels clicking against the flooring, twisting her hair back into a braid. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She felt a rather enigmatic smile curve her lips as she reached for her favorite flogger. Time to teach a worthy sub how to properly serve a goddess. 

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