Review: 10-Function Adonis Conqueror

Appearance:  Impressive.  Maybe even a little intimidating.  We have quite a collection of cute, pretty, decidedly girly vibes.  This fella is at the opposite end of the spectrum.  He's big.  He's black (or red).  He just looks powerful.

Size & Shape:  The aptly named Conqueror is quite a handful.  Really.  He measures 5.5" in length, giving you plenty to hold onto, and 1.5" in diameter.  That might not sound like much... but it is.  This is, by far, the biggest vibe we own.  As for the shape, there are just a few simple, subtle curves, but considering the size, that's really all you need.

Materials:  The business end of the Conqueror is luscious silicone.  It's good and firm, but it has a little give, and it feels fabulous.  The cap is ABS plastic with a decorative silver-plated ring.

Controls:  There's just one big button.  Push to turn the vibe on and cycle through the functions; push and hold to turn it off.  It couldn't be simpler, and the Conqueror makes things even easier because the button is large, lighted, and right on the surface (rather than being slightly recessed like a lot of single-button vibes).  This set-up does have a couple of potential disadvantages.  There is no way to turn it offer super-quick in case of an emergency - you will be waiting those three seconds.  And since the button is right there on the end, it's possible to accidentally press it while in use, which could be aggravating if you're particularly fond of a certain setting.  

Vibration Strength:  Not surprisingly, this baby's got plenty of oomph.  But with this particular vibe, it's not about strength or speed, it's about variety.  There are 10 different settings ranging from a steady, powerful buzz to a fluttery pulse with a little of everything in between.  Whether you prefer the thrill of a small jet engine or something a bit more gentle, there's sure to be a setting to please you.

Noise:  Not as loud as you might expect.  It would probably not be audible behind closed doors, but you probably will be.  ;)

Pros:  Depending on your preferences, the size could be a pro or a con.  I'm gonna call it a pro.  It's nice to have something big and buzzy - plus you've got plenty to hold on to.  Other pros?  Simple controls, powerful vibrations, and a wide variety of sensations

Cons:  It's easy to bump the button and accidentally change the setting, no quick shut-off

Overall:  The Conqueror is quite aptly named.  He's a bit brute of a vibe, not for the faint of heart.  He might be a bit too much for some, but if you're tired of cute, little girly vibes, he's a breath of fresh air.  He's very well made, but at $39.99, he won't break the bank.  So when you're ready to be conquered, go grab your own from Cal Exotics.