Review: 10-Function Adonis Conqueror

Appearance:  Impressive.  Maybe even a little intimidating.  We have quite a collection of cute, pretty, decidedly girly vibes.  This fella is at the opposite end of the spectrum.  He's big.  He's black (or red).  He just looks powerful.

Size & Shape:  The aptly named Conqueror is quite a handful.  Really.  He measures 5.5" in length, giving you plenty to hold onto, and 1.5" in diameter.  That might not sound like much... but it is.  This is, by far, the biggest vibe we own.  As for the shape, there are just a few simple, subtle curves, but considering the size, that's really all you need.

Materials:  The business end of the Conqueror is luscious silicone.  It's good and firm, but it has a little give, and it feels fabulous.  The cap is ABS plastic with a decorative silver-plated ring.

Controls:  There's just one big button.  Push to turn the vibe on and cycle through the functions; push and hold to turn it off.  It couldn't be simpler, and the Conqueror makes things even easier because the button is large, lighted, and right on the surface (rather than being slightly recessed like a lot of single-button vibes).  This set-up does have a couple of potential disadvantages.  There is no way to turn it offer super-quick in case of an emergency - you will be waiting those three seconds.  And since the button is right there on the end, it's possible to accidentally press it while in use, which could be aggravating if you're particularly fond of a certain setting.  

Vibration Strength:  Not surprisingly, this baby's got plenty of oomph.  But with this particular vibe, it's not about strength or speed, it's about variety.  There are 10 different settings ranging from a steady, powerful buzz to a fluttery pulse with a little of everything in between.  Whether you prefer the thrill of a small jet engine or something a bit more gentle, there's sure to be a setting to please you.

Noise:  Not as loud as you might expect.  It would probably not be audible behind closed doors, but you probably will be.  ;)

Pros:  Depending on your preferences, the size could be a pro or a con.  I'm gonna call it a pro.  It's nice to have something big and buzzy - plus you've got plenty to hold on to.  Other pros?  Simple controls, powerful vibrations, and a wide variety of sensations

Cons:  It's easy to bump the button and accidentally change the setting, no quick shut-off

Overall:  The Conqueror is quite aptly named.  He's a bit brute of a vibe, not for the faint of heart.  He might be a bit too much for some, but if you're tired of cute, little girly vibes, he's a breath of fresh air.  He's very well made, but at $39.99, he won't break the bank.  So when you're ready to be conquered, go grab your own from Cal Exotics.

7-Function Silicone Luxe Euphoria Massager

Appearance: Shnazzy!  Ours is a pretty royal blue. The shape made us giggle a little, because to us, it looks a bit like a penguin. Seriously, though, it's a nice looking toy, with that deep blue and silver accents.

Size & Shape: Small enough to fit comfortably in your hand, and contoured well so your hand doesn't get tired.

Materials: the business end is a nice silicone, which feels wonderful.  The casing is ABS plastic.

Controls: We really liked the design for this model. A lot of vibes just have one control for vibe patterns & speeds and the power, whereas this one has separate controls for each - one button to turn the vibe on and off, and another to cycle through the settings.  And they aren't easy to mix up. Also the controls light up, which is handy.

Vibration :  This little toy has a lot of buzz and a lot of variety.  There are seven different settings - three  speeds of steady vibration, and four patterns.  Each one is totally different, and completely amazing.  I think my favorite is the random pulse near the end of the cycle.

Noise: Considering how powerful this is, it's surprisingly quiet. I don't think you'd have to worry about being overheard by your neighbors....or, at least, they won't hear the toy! ;)

Pros: It's a lovely little toy with lots of luxe features - power, variety, ease of use, nice materials - but it won't break the bank

Cons: We honestly didn't find any!

Overall: One of Cal Exotics deluxe toys, this little vibe would make a great gift for yourself or someone special. Don't forget, Valentines' Day is almost here!  

Dr. Laura Berman Effie 3-Speed Waterproof Satin Finish Massager

Whew, that's a mouthful.  How 'bout we just call her Effie?  Effie is our latest gift from our good friends at Cal Exotics.

Appearance:  Effie is quite a cutie.  She's a petite lady, less than 3" long, and she's a lovely shade of lavender.  She's decidedly girly, but also quite classy - sleek, smooth - you get the idea.

Size & Shape:  As mentioned, Effie's pretty small.  She's the smallest toy we've got aside from our bullets.  And she's not what you'd call shapely.  She has a very slight curve that makes her fit your hand nicely, and the buzzy end is very nicely rounded.

Materials:  Effie is made of ABS with PU cote, which is a fancy way of saying "she's plastic, but really nice plastic."  She's silky smooth and totally seamless, plus the hard plastic transmits vibrations wonderfully. There's nothing squishy here to diminish the buzz.

Controls:  They couldn't be much simpler.  Effe has a single silicone button on the end that turns the vibe on, cycles through the three available speeds, and turns the vibe off.  The silicone button requires a bit more "squishing" than some other materials, so it can be a bit troublesome to change settings in the middle of things.  But that's a minor complaint.

Vibration Strength:  Excellent!  Don't let Effie's diminutive size fool you.  This little lady packs a punch!  She has three levels of vibration, ranging from fairly mild to downright powerful - something for just about everyone.

Noise:  She's not terribly noisy.  You could probably get away with using her behind closed doors, certainly on the lower setting.  She's definitely one of the more discreet vibes we own.

Pros:  Small and discreet, powerful vibration, simple and easy to use

Cons:  Position and material of controls makes changing settings during use somewhat problematic

Overall:  Effies a great little vibe!  She doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles, but sometimes the best things are the simplest.  She's be perfect for anyone knew to sex toys, and her size would make her great for traveling!

Snag this classy little vibe from Cal Exotics for just $21.99!

Review: Jumpin' Gyrator Rocket

Cal Exotics has thoroughly impressed us once again with the Jumpin' Gyrator Rocket - an extra-large, extra-powerful bullet.

Appearance:  Very nice!  I love the pretty purple color that we got, but it's also available in blue and pink.  

Size & Shape:  Great!  This is quite a bit bigger than your usual bullet, but still small enough that it can be inserted, if you wish.  The size is wonderful as it gives you a little more to hold on to and spreads out the vibrations  bit more.  So if you're not fond of really concentrated vibrations but still want to try a bullet vibe, this is the one for you!

Materials:  ABS plastic with PU cote.  Which translates to:  really nice plastic with a smooth, lovely finish.  There's nothing squishy to absorb the vibration, so you get the full force of this powerful little toy, but the plastic still looks and feels nice and is easy to clean up.  This is a great material.

Controls:  This bullet operates with a slide control on the side of the power pack, which couldn't be simpler.  Just slide the switch up to increase the vibration speed and down to decrease it.  It gives you a good deal of control without being finicky.  And the placement is absolutely perfect.  When you hold the power pack, the switch naturally sits right under your thumb.  Perfect!

Vibration Strength:  HOLY CRAP.  I think that sums it up nicely.  This toy could not have been more aptly name.  Even on the lower settings, the vibrations are so powerful that it's hard to hold on to.  It jumps around and gyrates and generally resembles a tiny, handheld rocket.  Unf.

Noise:  Not quiet, as is to be expected from something this powerful.  And of course, the higher the setting, the louder it gets.  And it gets pretty loud.  This is not the toy to get if you're looking for subtlety.  

Pros:  

• Pretty color and design
• Great size and shape for both external use and careful insertion
• Nice, easy-to-clean material
• Simple, intuitive controls
• POWER

Cons:

• Loud and noisy

Overall:  This is another fantastic vibe from Cal Exotics.  It packs a major punch, and it won't break the bank.  I highly recommend this vibe to anyone looking for strong, powerful vibrations or for a bulkier bullet.  Enjoy!

Review: Tantric Binding Love Universal Cuffs

As much as we enjoy all the vibes and toys we receive from the lovely folks at Cal Exotics, it was a nice surprise this month when we got something a little different - these cute cuffs!

Appearance:  Way cute.  And quite classy.  The ribbon is mostly decorative, but it's a nice touch.  And so is the cute, little heart-shaped T-ring.  It's an adorable little detail.

Size:  These cuffs are about as one-size-fits-all as you could get.  They stretch - and they stretch quite a lot - so they should fit just about anyone.  They even fit my teeny-tiny wrists pretty well.  And the stretch means you could use them as ankle cuffs, as well.  

Materials:  The cuffs themselves are a pretty heavy-duty black elastic.  Think Ace bandage.  The ring is a non-tarnishing, nickel-free alloy, so it should hold up well and look nice for years to come.  The satin ribbons are a bit of a disappointment, though.  They're not the nice, soft kind of satin ribbon, but the cheaper, stiffer kind.  They still look pretty cute, but I'd have been much happier had the ribbons been a bit nicer.  I kind of have a thing for ribbons, though, so I might just be super picky...

Function:  Good!  Obviously, these cuffs are mostly just for fun.  You (or your sub) could easily slip out of them unassisted, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  These would be perfect for introducing someone to bondage, especially if they were a bit nervous.  You get the feeling of restraint with the assurance that you can get free quickly, if need be.  And even if you're more "advanced," and into more intense play, it wouldn't hurt to have these on hand for those times when you don't feel up to anything heavy.  

The one downside is that, since the cuffs are connected - there's a seem in the middle that holds them together - you're limited to that one configuration.  Still, it's a pretty classic position anyway, and there's plenty you can do with it.  

Pros:  Inexpensive, unintimidating, fairly durable, can be used on wrists or ankles, fit a wide range of sizes

Cons:  quality of ribbons could be better, limited to light play, limited to one configuration

Overall:  These are very nice cuffs for a great price.  They'd be absolutely perfect for beginners, but a nice item for a more experienced player's arsenal, as well.  They're cute and comfy and serve the purpose rather well without being intimidating or difficult to use.  These babies are simple and sweet!  So go grab a pair now!

Review: 10 Function Clitoral Hummer

Appearance:  Quite pretty.  The pastel colors (ours is purple!) and the smooth curves make this vibe feel very "girly" to me.  

Size & Shape:  Size isn't much of an issue as this isn't really an insertable toy (I suppose you could insert it, if you really wanted to, though).  That being said, it does fit your hand nicely, and the length makes it very comfortable to use - on a partner or yourself.  

The shape is the interesting part of this toy.  One side of the tip has an intriguing little "scoop" shape and the other has a nice little bloop.  The scoop is made to fit the clitoris, and though I was initially skeptical that it would really make a difference, I have to say, it feels amazing.  It's quite a different sensation than a bullet or any other type of vibe provides.  And that nub on the other side offers an intense, targeted sensation, so you can change things up just by turning the vibe around, which helps keep things interesting.  

Materials:  ABS Plastic (very nice, very smooth) with a silver plated ring

Controls:  A button on the very end works in a very simple manner, exactly as you'd expect, which is perfect for this toy, because you're going to be a little distracted. Make that a lot distracted.  Hold down the button to turn it on, push it again to change vibration patterns, and hold it down again to turn it off.  Easy!

Vibration Strength: Intense, in the most wonderful way. Varies from steady to pulsing to alternating patterns.

Noise: Fairly quiet for a vibe this powerful. You might be able to hear it from an adjoining room if the house was really quiet.

Pros:  Unique shape, simple controls, waterproof

Cons:  Haven't found any yet.

Overall: This is by far our favorite vibe, now. It's completely unique and the sensation is fantastic no matter which side you're using. We highly recommend it.  It is a little pricier than some of the toys we've reviewed, but it's still around $20 and completely worth the extra for the unique factor. Plus, it's really nicely made and quality is always worth paying a little more for.  You'll get a toy that lasts as long as you need it to....and then some.  So what are you waiting for?  Go get yours now!

Review: Cal Exotics Water Missile Tear Drop Probe

Appearance:  Quite lovely.  It's very curvy and feminine.  Rather graceful.  Ours is actually teal rather than the purple pictures, and it's a very pretty color.  

Size & Shape:  That graceful, curvy shape that's so nice to look out also feels quite nice.  It's a simple shape, but very effective.  The size is more  substantial than it looks.  At first, I thought it might be a bit too big for effective insertion, but it's definitely not.  You'll probably need a good warm up first for insertion to be comfortable, but once you get there it feels amazing.  For me, at least, the size is perfect.  That being said, if you do find it a bit too large for insertion, the size and shape are still very nice externally.

Materials:  ABS Plastic.  Nothing soft and squishy here, which means plenty of strong, intense vibration.  The plastic is very smooth, and the only seam is at the end around the battery compartment.  Cleanup is easy too - this toy's waterproof!

Controls:  This vibe uses a dial on the end to turn it on and off and control the vibration speed.  Turn it one way, and the speed increases.  Turn it back the other way and it slows down, and eventually shuts off.  Simple.  Also a bit awkward, especially in the middle of things.  You can change the speed during use, but you probably won't want to bother.  

Vibration Strength:  Like most of the vibes I've reviewed from Cal Exotics, this one packs a punch.  But it also has a nice range.  The lower end offers a nice, gentle buzz or you can crank it up for something more intense.  

Noise:  On the lower settings, this one's actually fairly quiet.  You could probably use it behind closed doors without attracting unwanted attention.  That being said, it does get pretty loud when you turn it up to the higher settings.  

Pros:  

• The size and shape are wonderful.  That lovely bloop is great for stimulating the g-spot, and even if you don't insert it, this vibe still feels quite lovely.  
• It offers a full range of vibration speeds from pretty tame all the way up to quite intense.  
• It's easy to clean and it's waterproof!

Cons:  

• The controls are a bit awkward to operate during use

Overall:   This is another very nice vibe from Cal Exotics.  At only $12.99, it's a great value for the price!  I would recommend it to anyone looking for a good waterproof toy that won't break the bank.

Review: THE ACCOMMODATOR

Appearance:  Undeniably hilarious.  I challenge anyone to stick a dildo on your chin and not giggle.  Go on.  Try it.  Can't do it, can you?  I sure couldn't.  I looked at it and laughed.  I tried it on... and laughed.  I stuck it on my forehead and proclaimed myself The Dildocorn.  And laughed.  

I feel I should add, though, that the dildo itself is quite lovely.  We got the black version, and there are few things sexier than black latex.  It starts out dull but we've discovered that with some use it develops a lovely shine.  And using your vagina to shine your latex?  That's pretty hot.

Size & Shape:  It's pretty substantial.  Not too big, but you'll definitely want to warm up a bit before you try and use it. As far as the shape goes, it doesn't look all that exciting.  It's totally smooth, but it does have a subtle curve that feels pretty freakin' fantastic in use.

Materials:  Latex.  I was already a huge fan of latex garments, but this is the first latex toy I've tried, and I have to say, I think I'm hooked.  It's a great material for a toy, since it has a nice balance between firmness and flexibility.  The only downside - and it's not really downside for me, personally - is that you may need a bit of extra lubrication for things to be totally comfortable.  

Function:  To be perfectly honest, I was a bit hesitant to try this thing as it is intended to be used.  It just looked like it would be so awkward.  It was a good concept, but I just couldn't imagine it working that well.  So the first few times we played with it, we used it just like any other dildo.  And it was great.  

But I couldn't write this review without trying it properly at least once.  So I found my spirit of adventure, gathered myself, and stuck it on my head.  We both laughed hysterically, and got a bit distracted as we started plotting a webshow in which I would discuss very serious matters while wearing a zentai suit and my chindick (which I still think is a pretty fantastic idea).  But eventually, we steered things back into serious, sexy territory, and I... dove in, so to speak.  

In truth, it took a bit of maneuvering and fiddling to get things right.  Steering a chindick is a bit of a challenge.  That being said however, once it was in place, it quickly became quite apparent just how wrong we had been about this contraption.  

It actually works really, really well.  Miss K quite obviously enjoyed herself thoroughly, and I had plenty of fun as well.  Having the dildo there to help out made it easier to relax and enjoy myself, whereas I usually feel like I'm not quite doing enough and I need to find a way to ramp things up a bit.  

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but what it may lack in form, this thing totally makes up for in function.  Just don't expect to keep a straight face when you're wearing it.

Pros:  Latex - nice looking and cleans up easily; Nice, moderate size; Very pleasant shape;  Makes cunnilingus more enjoyable for both parties

Cons:  Looks ridiculous (though, this could be a pro, depending on how you look at things)

Overall:  It wasn't love at first sight, but The Accommodator really won me over.  If you're looking for something to spice things up, it would be well worth trying out.  Even if you didn't enjoy using it as intended, you'd still have a nice latex dildo.  You can snag it from Cal Exotics for only $26.99.

Review: Cal Exotics Bound by Diamonds Diamond Teaser

This time of year is pretty busy for most people, and we're no exception. Still, it was a wonderful surprise when our next toy to review arrived. We've only had mere minutes of free time this month, rather than hours of playtime, but with this powerful little vibe - the Bound by Diamonds Diamond Teaser by Cal Exotics -  minutes are all you need. Make sure you have a few AAA batteries and a nice comfy, sturdy spot. 

Appearance:  one of my favorites, black and chrome with little rhinestones in the controller

Size & Shape: small and compact, because....well it's a bullet

Materials: ABS plastic with a lovely satin finish, which makes it feel nice and luxurious.

Controls: very simple and easy to use - just two buttons on the controller.  The top button turns the toy on and increases the spead while the bottom button slows things down and eventually turns the toy off.

Vibration Strength: 5 levels, very intense, especially considering how little it is. There's an especially noticeable difference between level three and two - from a strong rumble to a toe-curling, spine-tingling buzz - but even level one is  strong enough for me. All the way up to level five is breathtakingly wonderful.

Noise: this is not a particularly quiet toy, I have to say, certainly not on the higher speeds

Pros: This is one of our strongest vibes, and it's a great value. It's a very pretty little toy. and it's certainly small enough to store pretty much anywhere. 

Cons: It's not especially quiet, but I'd rather have a nice intense vibe than a superquiet one. It might be a little too intense for some, particularly on the higher levels, but there's no reason you can't stick with the first level in that case. 

Overall: This is a well-made, inexpensive, strong bullet. The only downside is the noise level being a bit high, but to us that's pretty minor. 

Review: Cal Exotics First Time Softee Pleaser

Some of the toys we receive get ripped out of their packaging immediately and tested out the moment we're both at home with nothing more pressing to attend to.  Others, due to a variety of circumstances, get set aside and have to wait a bit.  It's not that we aren't excited about them.  Life just has other plans some days.  But whenever a toy gets set aside, it seems like a perfect opportunity always presents itself.  Perhaps it's just a coincidence.  Or perhaps the Sex Toy Gods are smiling upon us.  Whatever the case, it's wonderfully serendipitous.  

Our most recent acquisition, the First Time Softee Pleaser from Cal Exotics was one such toy.  It arrived in the midst of a few rather busy days.  We kept saying to each other, "Hey, we need to try out our new little friend" and then being entirely to tired to do so by the time we got finished with everything else.  And then one evening, Miss K suggested we have a bath together.  Immediately, the proverbial lightbulb over my head lit up, and while she was filling up the tub, I ran upstairs to grab our new toy.  I just happened to remember that it was waterproof, so what better environment in which to test it out than the bath?

We were quickly and thoroughly impressed by the remarkable power of this little vibe.  If you're looking for a good, powerful vibe that won't break the bank, you can't go wrong with this one.  It's at least as powerful as the Warm-n-Glow Vibe we reviewed last month, but it has the added advantage of a nice, squishy outer layer and a better shape for insertion.

Now let's take a look at the details shall we?

Name:  First Time Softee Pleaser

Manufacturer:  Cal Exotics

Price:  $14.99

Appearance:  Cute!  Ours is pink, but it also comes in purple.  It's smooth and sleek and quite feminine.

Size & Shape:  Great!  It's big enough to be satisfying without being too big.  And the shape, with that little bend at the tip, is just right for hitting the G spot.

Materials:  Very nice.  The vibe itself is hard ABS plastic, which transmits vibrations wonderfully.  But what makes this little baby a cut above your standard plastic vibe is the soft plastic sleeve.  It's wonderfully squishy and feels fantastic, but it's still thin enough that it doesn't hinder the vibrations.  Plus, with the hard plastic underneath, you have plenty of control, and if a little pressure is what you need, you can get it.  All in all, it's the best of both worlds.

Controls:  Not bad.  To turn the vibe on and off and control the speed, you turn the dial on the bottom.  This gives you a lot of control over the speed.  You can go from Barely Noticeable Buzz to Small Jet Engine as quickly or as slowly as you like, and hit any point in between as well.  If you're going to take advantage of this toy's waterproof-ness, note that the controls can be a bit difficult to operate with wet hands.  

Also, the dial is part of the battery cap, which means that if you turn it the wrong way, you'll open the battery compartment.  This isn't such a big deal on dry land, but it could be bad news in the tub, so make sure you only turn the dial on the end - not the entire cap!

Runs On:  2 AAA batteries

Vibration Strength:  Variable.  On the lowest setting it's barely a whisper.  Crank it all the way up and...  well, you better buckle your seatbelt and hold on tight. It's amazing.  I'm pretty sure you could find a speed to please absolutely anyone.

Noise:  Also variable.  It's not too bad on the lowest settings, but on the upper end, it sounds like a small jet engine too.  If you're trying to keep quiet, you'd be better to look elsewhere.  That being said, using it in the water does muffle the sound quite a bit.  

Pros:  Wonderful size and shape; incredible range of speed and strength, nice materials

Cons:  Controls can be somewhat troublesome; very noisy on higher settings

Overall:  I'd give this one an A.  It's a really nice vibe for only $15, and as the name suggests, it would be great for a novice toy user.  But don't think it doesn't offer plenty for the more experienced.  With it's nice mid-range size and variable speed, I'd recommend this vibe to pretty much anyone.

Review: Cal Exotics Warm-n-Glow Vibe

Well, folks, we're finally all moved into our new house, and though there's still a lot of unpacking to be done, we've settled in quite nicely.  Our refrigerator is full, the DVD player is hooked up, approximately 1/3 of our library has been unpacked, and the UPS guy has found us.  He came meandering up our driveway last week while I was organizing bath products and dropped off a lovely gift from those fine folks at Cal Exotics.

Of course, I pranced back into the house and opened the package immediately.  And this is what greeted me:

The Warm-n-Glow Vibe, which is just what it sounds like - a vibrator that warms up and glows.  It definitely looked cool.  And so I immediately ran off in search of batteries.  Fortunately, I packed the batteries in the same box as necessities like our hammer and tape measure, so they had already been unearthed.  So I popped in a couple of AA's, pushed the button, and smiled like a shark as our new little friend sprang to life.  I couldn't wait to get ahold of Mistress K with this thing.  

There were two things I noted right away:

1) There was indeed an almost immediate, rather subtle, but very nice warming effect

and 

2) This little thing was a powerhouse.  Seriously.

I have to confess that I gave serious thought to running off and trying it myself right then and there.  But I didn't.  I decided to wait for Miss K to come home instead.  It was a long wait.  But well worth it.  

We have collected a number of vibes by now, most of which have various speeds.  Their "low" settings are rarely used around here.  Miss K and I both prefer good, strong vibrations.  None of this subtlety crap for us.  Oh, no.  So I did what I usually do - turned our new friend on, teased my squirming Mistress with the low setting for a minute or two, then switched to the higher setting and really got things going.

That's how it usually goes anyway.  This time, however, was a little different.  For one thing, I cannot, in good conscience, use the term "teasing" in conjunction with the "low" setting on this vibe.  I hesitate to even use the word "low."  Because there's really nothing low about it.  The settings are more like "high" and "really high."  Which, if you're like us, is great.  It just required a bit more of a warm-up than I'm used to.  A third, lower setting would be nice for that purpose and for those who prefer things a bit less intense, but I'm not about to complain.  Once you are good and warmed up those nice, strong vibrations are absolutely delicious.

Another nice feature is the warming effect.  It's subtle, but definitely noticeable, and it feels very nice.  The "glow" part of Warm-n-Glow is pretty cool too.  If you're a sci-fi geek like I am, it will probably call to mind an alien probe or some such, which could make for some very interesting roleplay scenarios, if you're into that sort of thing.  Always a nice bonus.

The size and shape are pretty perfect as well.  It's not made for any sort of deep thrusting, but it can be inserted, and it feels fantastic.  What makes this toy really great, however, is the flexible joint in the middle that allows you to get the angle just right no matter how you're using it.  It's nice to use on a partner because you don't have to contort yourself into any uncomfortable positions.  And if you're flying solo, you needn't worry about those damnable wrist cramps that you get with less flexible toys.  

The Warm-n-Glow Vibe is made of ABS plastic, which I would normally consider a minor drawback, but it's a very nice plastic with a smooth, satin finish that feels great and transmits those powerful vibrations far better than any other material could.  It runs on 2 AA batteries, and I was initially worried that it would devour them, but they've lasted through two reasonably lengthy playtime sessions so far, and seem to be running strong soon.  

Of all the Cal Exotics toys we've tried thus far, I'd say this one is the best.  The quality is really outstanding for a vibe that retails for just $20.  I would wholeheartedly recommend this toy to absolutely anyone who's in the market for a new vibe.  I can't recommend it enough.

Review: Cal Exotics Lighted Shimmers LED Glider Teaser

This was a nice little surprise, as we weren't expecting it, in the middle of moving.  Unexpected packages are always a nice.  Unexpected packages containing sex toys?  I don't know about you, but that's enough to make my day.

This month, the lovely folks at Cal Exotics sent us the Lighted Shimmers LED Glider Teaser. It's certainly a pretty little toy, with its sparkly pink controller.  The bullet is a nice translucent pink as well, and both are made of ABS plastic.


The bullet also lights up, though it wasn't dark enough in our bedroom to really appreciate it and the light seemed a bit weak.  


There's a little wheel on the side of the controller to turn the vibe on and off and change the intensity level, and it's a little unwieldy to use.  I had a hard time operating it with one hand, but it should be noted that I have really small hands.  If yours are larger than the average ten-year-old's, you'll probably be fine.


As for the important part, it's a nice little vibe, but a little too weak to be my favorite.  Also our batteries died really quickly.  But they were batteries we happened to have lying around, so they may have been old.  We haven't had the chance yet to try a fresh set - did I mentions we're moving? - but once we do, we'll be sure to share the results. 


All in all, this a nice little toy.  At only $17.99 it certainly won't break the bank, and would be a great gift for your favorite toy novice or anyone enjoys a lower intensity vibe.

Pros:

Appealing color

Variable speed/intensity

Novelty of the light-up feature 

A pretty good little bullet for a reasonable price

Would be great for someone who likes a lower-intensity vibe 

Would make a great gift 

Cons:

Might possibly be a battery hog 

A little too weak for us
Potentially unwieldy controls

Review: Cal Exotics Foreplay Ice Chill

Being a big fan of Cal Exotics and their high quality, affordable toys, I was quite excited to become an official Cal Exotics Sexpert.  This means I get a new toy to review every month!  And my first package could not have come at a better time.

It has been one hot month.  Just stepping outside for a few minutes to water the plants or check the mail is enough to leave you feeling roasted.  So when we came home one day after a sweltering round of errand running, in need of a quick way to cool off, I smiled smugly and ran to the freezer.  But I was not seeking popsicles or ice cream sandwiches.  Oh, no.  I had a vibrator in my freezer.

I see that face your making.  I vibrator?  In the freezer?  Really?  

Yep.  Those innovative folks at Cal Exotics have created a whole line of freezable vibes.  They sent me the Foreplay Ice Chill, which consists of a small silicone "handle," a mold, and a bullet vibe.  You fill the mold with water, place the handle on top, and pop the whole thing in the freezer.  Once it's frozen 2-4 hours later, you take it out, peel the mold off, and place the bullet in the hole in the middle of the handle.  And voila!  You have what amounts to a textured, vibrating ice cube.

Preparation is just a wee bit fiddly.  There is a line on the mold show you how much to fill it, but you still have to experiment a bit to get just the right level so that when you put the handle in, the water comes to the top but doesn't overflow.  Once it's frozen the mold peels off easily.  So all I had to do was grab it, peel the mold off, toss it aside, and insert the bullet - all of which took only a minute or two.  

I must confess, I'm a bit of a sadist, so when Miss K. started squealing and squirming when I trailed the ice along her arm, I couldn't wait to have a go at her more sensitive bits.  And I learned two things very quickly.  1) The ice is much too cold to be used for direct clitoral stimulation for any length of time at all, and 2) the vibration through the silicone and ice is barely noticeable.  Just the other day, Miss K. turned things around on me, and I learned something else.  I really underestimated just how cold that ice really is.  Especially on your girly bits.  Brrrrrr!  

Overall, the Foreplay Ice Chill is a nice toy.  It's fun, especially if you enjoy a bit of teasing and torment - which we certainly do.  The ice melts slowly enough that you can have a good bit of fun with it, but quickly enough that you don't get bored before it's gone.  Plus, once the ice is all melted, the bullet can be easily removed from the handle and the fun can continue.  And let me tell you, though it doesn't do much when everything is put together, on its own that bullet is a little powerhouse.  

So if you're in the market for a good bullet vibe and something to spice up your foreplay - or something to keep you from having a heatstroke when it's 90+ degrees and you have no air conditioning - the Foreplay Ice Chill would be a good buy.  

Review: Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo

If you've ever read or heard any advice ever about improving your sex life - having orgasms, having better orgasms, having more orgasms - then chances are, you've heard about kegel exercises.  The consensus seems to be that if you have any interest in sex at all, you ought to be doing them.  And why not?  They're pretty simple.  All you have to do is alternately tighten and release your pubococcygeus - or PC - muscle, the same one you use to start and stop the flow of urine when you tinkle.  Piece of cake, right?

But kegel exercises aren't like bicep curls or any other strength training exercise.  And if you're anything like me, you may wonder if you're doing it right or doing enough or if you're even using the right muscle at all.  How do you know?  Well, fortunately for us, there happen to be a number of products on the market that are made for exercising your PC muscle.

One such product is FunFactory's Smartballs Teneo.  These lightly weighted silicone balls, when inserted vaginally, cause your PC muscle to automatically contract, providing the exercise needed without any conscious effort on your part (wouldn't it be nice if all exercise was like that?).  So all you have to do is insert them/it - the Smartballs come in singles and, for a more intense workout, doubles - and go on about your business.  While you're doing the dishes/grocery shopping/ballroom dancing/whatever the balls work their magic and your PC muscle gets a great workout.  

That's the theory anyway.  So how well does it really work?  Fantastically.  

As soon as I opened my box from Good Vibrations, who were kind enough to send me one of these little guys to try, I knew I was in for a treat.  They sent me the single-ball version in pink, which peeked out enticingly from Fun Factory's sleek, grey packaging.  I opened it to find, in addition to the product itself, an instruction sheet, a pamphlet featuring some of the company's other products, and a sample packet of lube.  And when I picked up the Smartball itself, I couldn't wait to have it inside me.

It's made of a deliciously smooth silicone, but the pattern on it's surface gives it some texture.  It's about 1.5" in diameter - substantial but not overly large.  It's hollow inside, and if you shake it, you can hear and feel the little weighted ball that rattles around and provides the "vibration"* that stimulates your PC muscle and makes this whole thing work.

I learned a couple of things about the Smartballs right off the bat.  Firstly, you definitely need to use lube when you insert them.  The silicone is nice and smooth, but it's not slick.  Without proper lubrication, it would tend to stick and drag against your skin, and that is not a sensation you want where your junk is concerned.  So lube up, honey.  Secondly, when it comes to the Smartballs, quicker is better.  This is not a dildo.  It doesn't start out small and get bigger toward the base.  It's pretty much one size.  And that one size is pretty substantial.  

The first time I inserted my ball, I tried to take it slowly and gently, eeeeasing it it.  Fortunately, there is a little groove at the base for you finger that makes this much easier.  Still, it was pretty uncomfortable until it finally sort of popped in.  I have sense discovered that you're better off using what I like to call the "band-aid method."  Taking off a band-aid is uncomfortable, and there's not getting around it, so you just rip it off as quickly as possible.  Similarly, inserting the Smartballs is slightly uncomfortable, and there's no getting around it, so it's best to just shove them in as quickly as possible.  Of course, you should use your noodle here.  If the discomfort is anything more than minor or there is any pain involved, STOP.  Do not pass go.  Do not stick these things in your vagina.  Some people just might not be able to use these.  

All that being said, this is the only downside I've discovered.  Once their in, the Smartballs are quite comfortable.  Not to mention, pleasurable.  Whenever you move, that little weighted ball inside the Smartballs' shell moves too.  And you can feel it.  It's a very unique sensation, and I honestly don't know how to describe it other than to say it feels really nice.  And if you get them positioned right, the Smartballs will also stimulate your g-spot - which is probably part of the reason for their size.  I don't think I need to tell you how nice that is.  Plus, you can tell they're working.  You can feel your PC muscle contracting, so you know you're getting the workout you need.

Removing the Smartballs is much like inserting them - best done quickly.  All you need to do is pull the loop, but you need to do so a bit more forcefully than you would think.  The loop is made of silicone as well, so it will stretch.  I find pulling firmly and quickly is best.  There's a similar minor discomfort as when inserting.  The stimulation is just so intense.  But then the ball pops out and, if you're anything like me, you're left laying there going, "Wow..." for a moment.

All in all, I love the Smartballs.  They're easy to use, effective, and totally discreet.  You could wear these anywhere, during virtually any activity and - unless you have trouble concealing your... uh... true feelings - no one would ever have any idea.  Since they're silicone, they're a snap to clean up.  Just wash them with a little mild soap, and you're good to go.  

I don't think I've worn them long enough or consistently enough to produce any major, lasting results, but I have no doubt that these would definitely help to strengthen your PC muscle.  I've definitely developed a greater awareness of mine.  And long-term benefits aside, these are just fun to use.  Even if you just use them occasionally to make your household chores a bit more interesting, I think they're well worth it.  

What Miss K has to say:  

I wore the Smartball to work for an afternoon, as my job is pretty active. It was a little difficult to get in at first, but nothing that a little lube didn't help. And once it was in place, it stayed perfectly, no matter if I was walking, sitting, stretching, bending over, whatever. That little weight is certainly interesting. =) The Smartball is totally fine for getting in your Kegel exercises. At times I even forgot it was in there. But not for too long. =) I don't think I've used it enough to be able to tell the difference, but I'm sure I will soon, and even if not, it's certainly lots of fun. 

So there you have it.  Miss K. and I both give the Smartballs Teneo a big thumbs up.  Head on over to Goodvibes now and get yours for 15% off!

  *They say "vibration," but we're not talking vibration in the traditional, battery-operated, vroom-vroom sense.  I can't really think of a better word for it, though, so... yeah.  We'll just call it vibration.

Review: SpareParts Pete Packer Underwear Trunks

If you have any interest in packing for any reason at all whatsoever, you need a pare of SpareParts' Pete Packer underwear.  If you've considered packing, but have never tried it because you were concerned about comfort and/or security, you need these.  If you've been packing for years with a packing strap or plain ol' undies, you need these.  If you want to pack every day or just every once in a while when the mood strikes, you need these.  There is, quite simply, no better packing method in terms of long-term comfort and security.  

I know because I tried them all* so you could see how Pete stacks up against his competitors.  But first, let's get to know Pete...

The Pete Packer underwear line is made by SpareParts, who you may know as the creators of the incredibly awesome Jocque harness.  They're available in four styles - trunks, briefs, bikinis, and a "commando" style, which is sort of a bikini-style brief for the minimalists out there who like to let it all hang out.  Being a fan of boxer-briefs already, I chose the trunks.  

Currently, the only color available is classically sexy, goes-with-anything black, but considering the range of colors the Jocque harness is available in, I wouldn't be surprised to see more options added the lineup later.  The fabric is a nylon/spandex blend (just like the Jocque), which offers a snug fit and plenty of breathability.  Plus they're totally machine washable.  Basically, they're like a pair of high-end bike shorts with a handy, dandy pecker-pocket.

They're available at Babeland, where you'll also find some nice packers, binders, and tons of awesome sex toys all presented in a friendly, positive, and totally classy manner.  They were kind enough to send me a pair of Petes in exchange for an honest review.  I also purchased this packer from them, which is the one I used for all  my testing.

I tried each packing method for an entire day, from the time I got dressed in the morning until I tore off my clothes and slipped into something more comfortable in the evening.  I went through my normal daily activities, which I must admit includes a lot of sitting on the couch typing things.  But I also did some household chores - cleaning out closets, doing laundry, loading the dishwasher.  I didn't do any jogging or biking or anything particularly active, though I did make it a point to jump around a bit and try to get an idea of how things would hold up under more rigorous trials.  So, let's see how things stacked up...

Pete Packer Trunks

Comfort:  These are incredibly comfortable.  The fabric is wonderful.  It feels very nice against your skin, and it's quite breathable, so your butt doesn't get all sweaty.  They have a wide waistband that stays put and doesn't roll.  The only comfort issue I had at all was that the legs had a tendency to roll up.  It should be noted, however, that I have somewhat chubby thighs, which may contribute to the problem, and regular boxer-briefs do the very same thing.  Personally, I'd rather deal with rolling legs than wedgies.  But if the leg thing would bug you, I'd go for one of the other styles.

Security:  Rock solid.  The packer sits in it's own little pocket.  The shaft slips through a hole in the inner pocket so that, if you were using an STP packer, it would be accessible.  Then there's a little elastic strap in the inner pocket that you slip over the balls to hold them in place, leaving you with one neat, secure package.  Everything stays right where you put it all day long.  No slipping, no shifting, no need to adjust.  I'm pretty sure you could run a marathon in these things and you're little friend wouldn't budge.  

I haven't worked my way up to packing public yet (I have a lot of anxiety about trying to pass that I'm working through), but it's nice to know that when I do, I won't have to worry about whether or not my packer is going to stay put.  Especially when it comes to using the bathroom.  I imagine these would make using an STP device even easier, but if you don't have one or just prefer to do your business sitting down, you're still good to go.  Since the packer has it's own pocket, there's no need to worry about it slithering away when you drop your drawers.  I don't know about you, but that makes me feel a whole lot better about the entire prospect.

Ease of Wear:  Fantastic.  Once you get them set up there is literally nothing you have to worry about for the rest of the day.  I never had to adjust them at all.  It was just like wearing my regular undies, just with a little something extra.  Best of all, everything felt perfectly natural.  I didn't have any of those jarring, "oh, wait, this isn't actually my penis" moments.  In fact, the one jarring moment I did have was the first time I went to the bathroom and remembered that I couldn't pee standing up.  Now, that's not something I've been terribly bothered about before.  Sure, it'd be cool, but standing to pee was not a priority for me.  When I was packing with Pete, however, it seemed incredibly strange to me that I could not do so.  

What Miss K. Has to Say:  Packing is relatively new to us, and it's lots of fun. The trunks only add to the excitement. They look and behave just like regular underwear, so much so that I don't mind adding them to our clothesline along with the rest of the laundry on a nice sunny day. And the confidence they give my sweetheart is easily the best part. Whether by plain good luck or whatever you'd like to credit, the packer we chose is a perfect match for her skintone. It looks 100% realistic, especially with these trunks.  

SpareParts Jocque Harness

Comfort:  Quite comfy.  I was worried that wearing this under my jeans might be a bit uncomfortable what with the buckles and all, but it really wasn't.  The buckles are so fantastically made that they somehow manage not to pinch or even dig in unless you pull the straps especially tight. Once you've adjusted the straps, they stay right where you want them.  They don't shift at all.  Overall, I found the harness to be just as comfortable as the trunks.  You'll just want to be sure you wear something with a little extra room in the hips/waist to accommodate the extra bulk of the harness' waistband.

Security:  Very secure.  The pouch on the harness is actually very similar to the pouch on the trunks.  The only difference is that is no extra outer pouch on the harness and the hole through which the shaft fits is stretchier, to accommodate a wider range of sizes.  The lack of an outer pocket means your dick is gonna be swingin' in the breeze.  If you want the commando feel, you could certainly get it with the harness.  Or you could wear regular undies over the harness to keep things in place, which is what I did (mostly because I didn't want to risk damaging my shiny new packer).  Again, as far security goes, I found the harness to be pretty much equal to the trunks, due to the similar design. 

Ease of Wear:  Not bad.  The harness was comfortable and secure, but definitely more problematic at potty time.  It would probably still be fairly easy to use a STP packer with it, but if you have to sit, it gets to be a bit troublesome having to deal with pulling everything down and back up and adjusting all of the layers.  Now, if you left out the extra underwear layer, it might be better, but the harness still requires a bit more fiddling than the trunks do.  All in all, the harness was still pretty easy to deal with.  If you already have one or intend to get one and you're only planning on packing occasionally, it would certainly be a viable option.  But I wouldn't want to wear it for packing every day.

What Miss K. Has to Say:  We've looked at a lot of harnesses in the past year or two. We finally bought a beginner version with our rabbit vibe from Cal Exotics, and while it was ok, it was never all that easy to use. We have different hip sizes and adjusting the leg straps was a bit of a pain. We had just about decided on a nice leather harness from Aslan. And then we randomly happened upon a demo video on Babeland for this harness. We were sold. It's perfectly comfortable, extremely well-made and easy to adjust. It's easy to wear. SpareParts did everything right with this one, and I can't recommend it enough. 

Regular Boxer-Briefs

Comfort:  Pretty comfy.  I find boxer-briefs quite comfortable one their own (aside from aforementioned leg rolling issue), and adding a packer didn't really change that much.  I did, however, find the packer itself to be less comfortable because the lack of an extra pocket means the packer rest directly against your body.  It wasn't that bad, but it did tend to catch on hairs and make it's presence known in little, slightly annoying ways.

Security:  Better than expected.  The packer definitely shifted a lot more than with either of the other methods, but it didn't try to slither out of my pants or anything.  Mostly the base just didn't want to stay against my body.  It tended to kind of twist and sit sideways, which wasn't a major problem, and could probably be solved by wearing your undies a size smaller.  It didn't feel nearly as secure as the other methods, but it would certainly work in a pinch.  This might also work with briefs, though I think they'd feel even less secure without the legs to help keep things in place.

Ease of Wear:  Okay.  It wasn't as comfortable and it didn't feel as secure, but it wasn't too bad.  The biggest problem came, once again, at tinkle time.  If you were using an STP packer, I imagine you'd have to work a bit harder to hold it in place just because the regular underwear don't help keep things in place as much as Pete or Jocque.  If you're not using an STP packer, then you have to be careful when you drop your drawers that you don't also drop your dick.  That could definitely be awkward if you were in public.  Even if you're not, it's kind of a hassle.  And of course, when you're done you have to reposition everything again.  It may not seem like much trouble, but compared to wearing Pete, this seems like a big pain in the butt.

What Miss K. Has to Say: Boxers are awesome and awesomely comfortable. And there's something quite wonderful about man-undies on my girlfriend. =) But for packing, boxers alone just don't work anything like the trunks. In conclusion, you just can't go wrong with SpareParts' Pete Packer underwear. 

So there you have it.  In my opinion, the SpareParts Pete Packer Underwear are the best packing method in terms of comfort, security, and convenience.  I highly recommend them to anyone interested in packing.  Many thanks to Babeland for sending me a pair to try!

*Almost.  The only method I didn't try was a packing strap because I didn't have one, and I didn't really have the extra cash to buy one solely for the sake of testing.  That being said, every review I've seen says they're generally okay, but the straps have a tendency to ride up and/or twist.