Review: 10-Function Adonis Conqueror

Appearance:  Impressive.  Maybe even a little intimidating.  We have quite a collection of cute, pretty, decidedly girly vibes.  This fella is at the opposite end of the spectrum.  He's big.  He's black (or red).  He just looks powerful.

Size & Shape:  The aptly named Conqueror is quite a handful.  Really.  He measures 5.5" in length, giving you plenty to hold onto, and 1.5" in diameter.  That might not sound like much... but it is.  This is, by far, the biggest vibe we own.  As for the shape, there are just a few simple, subtle curves, but considering the size, that's really all you need.

Materials:  The business end of the Conqueror is luscious silicone.  It's good and firm, but it has a little give, and it feels fabulous.  The cap is ABS plastic with a decorative silver-plated ring.

Controls:  There's just one big button.  Push to turn the vibe on and cycle through the functions; push and hold to turn it off.  It couldn't be simpler, and the Conqueror makes things even easier because the button is large, lighted, and right on the surface (rather than being slightly recessed like a lot of single-button vibes).  This set-up does have a couple of potential disadvantages.  There is no way to turn it offer super-quick in case of an emergency - you will be waiting those three seconds.  And since the button is right there on the end, it's possible to accidentally press it while in use, which could be aggravating if you're particularly fond of a certain setting.  

Vibration Strength:  Not surprisingly, this baby's got plenty of oomph.  But with this particular vibe, it's not about strength or speed, it's about variety.  There are 10 different settings ranging from a steady, powerful buzz to a fluttery pulse with a little of everything in between.  Whether you prefer the thrill of a small jet engine or something a bit more gentle, there's sure to be a setting to please you.

Noise:  Not as loud as you might expect.  It would probably not be audible behind closed doors, but you probably will be.  ;)

Pros:  Depending on your preferences, the size could be a pro or a con.  I'm gonna call it a pro.  It's nice to have something big and buzzy - plus you've got plenty to hold on to.  Other pros?  Simple controls, powerful vibrations, and a wide variety of sensations

Cons:  It's easy to bump the button and accidentally change the setting, no quick shut-off

Overall:  The Conqueror is quite aptly named.  He's a bit brute of a vibe, not for the faint of heart.  He might be a bit too much for some, but if you're tired of cute, little girly vibes, he's a breath of fresh air.  He's very well made, but at $39.99, he won't break the bank.  So when you're ready to be conquered, go grab your own from Cal Exotics.

7-Function Silicone Luxe Euphoria Massager

Appearance: Shnazzy!  Ours is a pretty royal blue. The shape made us giggle a little, because to us, it looks a bit like a penguin. Seriously, though, it's a nice looking toy, with that deep blue and silver accents.

Size & Shape: Small enough to fit comfortably in your hand, and contoured well so your hand doesn't get tired.

Materials: the business end is a nice silicone, which feels wonderful.  The casing is ABS plastic.

Controls: We really liked the design for this model. A lot of vibes just have one control for vibe patterns & speeds and the power, whereas this one has separate controls for each - one button to turn the vibe on and off, and another to cycle through the settings.  And they aren't easy to mix up. Also the controls light up, which is handy.

Vibration :  This little toy has a lot of buzz and a lot of variety.  There are seven different settings - three  speeds of steady vibration, and four patterns.  Each one is totally different, and completely amazing.  I think my favorite is the random pulse near the end of the cycle.

Noise: Considering how powerful this is, it's surprisingly quiet. I don't think you'd have to worry about being overheard by your neighbors....or, at least, they won't hear the toy! ;)

Pros: It's a lovely little toy with lots of luxe features - power, variety, ease of use, nice materials - but it won't break the bank

Cons: We honestly didn't find any!

Overall: One of Cal Exotics deluxe toys, this little vibe would make a great gift for yourself or someone special. Don't forget, Valentines' Day is almost here!  

Dr. Laura Berman Effie 3-Speed Waterproof Satin Finish Massager

Whew, that's a mouthful.  How 'bout we just call her Effie?  Effie is our latest gift from our good friends at Cal Exotics.

Appearance:  Effie is quite a cutie.  She's a petite lady, less than 3" long, and she's a lovely shade of lavender.  She's decidedly girly, but also quite classy - sleek, smooth - you get the idea.

Size & Shape:  As mentioned, Effie's pretty small.  She's the smallest toy we've got aside from our bullets.  And she's not what you'd call shapely.  She has a very slight curve that makes her fit your hand nicely, and the buzzy end is very nicely rounded.

Materials:  Effie is made of ABS with PU cote, which is a fancy way of saying "she's plastic, but really nice plastic."  She's silky smooth and totally seamless, plus the hard plastic transmits vibrations wonderfully. There's nothing squishy here to diminish the buzz.

Controls:  They couldn't be much simpler.  Effe has a single silicone button on the end that turns the vibe on, cycles through the three available speeds, and turns the vibe off.  The silicone button requires a bit more "squishing" than some other materials, so it can be a bit troublesome to change settings in the middle of things.  But that's a minor complaint.

Vibration Strength:  Excellent!  Don't let Effie's diminutive size fool you.  This little lady packs a punch!  She has three levels of vibration, ranging from fairly mild to downright powerful - something for just about everyone.

Noise:  She's not terribly noisy.  You could probably get away with using her behind closed doors, certainly on the lower setting.  She's definitely one of the more discreet vibes we own.

Pros:  Small and discreet, powerful vibration, simple and easy to use

Cons:  Position and material of controls makes changing settings during use somewhat problematic

Overall:  Effies a great little vibe!  She doesn't have a lot of bells and whistles, but sometimes the best things are the simplest.  She's be perfect for anyone knew to sex toys, and her size would make her great for traveling!

Snag this classy little vibe from Cal Exotics for just $21.99!

Masturbatory Monday: Wank Tales #1

This may come as a surprise considering the nature of this blog and my inherent love of writing, but I don't write a lot of erotica.  If any sort of naughtiness transpires in my stories, I tend to simply allude to it and move on.  Not because I don't want to write such things, but because it's... well... hard.  

It is for me, at least.  Which, in my warped little writerly brain, is all the more reason for me to do more of it. It's a win-win.  I get to practice my smuttery; you get to read smutty things (that, hopefully, don't suck).  And because I like themes, I thought I would weave this in with the theme I had already decided upon for Mondays--masturbation.

Yep.  I'm going to write a whole series of short stories about people getting themselves off in the most creative ways and places I can come up with.  I have no idea how many of these there will be, and I can't promise I'll manage one every Monday, but I think it should be fun, and I hope you enjoy.  

Here's our first installment:

All it takes is a brief glimpse of the red skirt swirling about the ankles of the woman boarding the train ahead of him.  That simple sight sets off a chain reaction of thoughts that trickle along his spine and pool around his cock, warm and enticing.  He tugs at his long jacket, doing his best to conceal his sudden, inconvenient arousal.

Once on the train, he hurries to find an unoccupied compartment and locks the door, desperately hoping that he won't be required to admit another passenger.  The minutes tick by as he sits, fidgeting, thinking only in images - red silk, smooth flesh, round breasts, thrusting hips...

He gasps, startled by the sudden lurch as the train begins to move.

He’s so hard it hurts by that point, and though he knows the porter will be coming for his ticket, he can’t bring himself to wait another moment.  He unfastens his trousers and frees himself, leaning back against the seat with a sound that is half relieved sigh, half lusting moan.

He closes his eyes and conjured and image of her, focusing on her dainty hands, trying to imagine what those long, delicate fingers would feel like around his cock.  His own are not half as soft as hers must be, but he doesn’t let that distract him.

He focuses every ounce of his attention on the task of stroking himself, slowly at first – as slowly as he can stand.  There’s an edge of agony to the ecstasy, and it only heightens his desire.  It isn’t long before any thought of self-control has fallen to the wayside, and he is pumping almost frantically, lifting his hips, biting his lip in an effort to keep mostly quiet.

Through the glorious fog of lust, he hears a sound that might be footsteps, and the thought of being caught is enough to send him over the edge, gasping and shuddering as his seed spills, warm and thick, onto his hand.

For a moment, he sits there, simultaneously enveloped in the warm pleasure and shadowed by the shame of what he’s done.  It isn’t proper by any stretch of the imagine, but oh, it was glorious.  His only real regret is that the object of his desires was not there to witness it.

Review: The Original Personal Pleasurizer

Appearance:  Cute!  This is a decidedly girly vibe, especially on the pink ours came in.  It's very shapely too, so it's pleasant to use and to look at.

Size & Shape:  She's not very big, but this little lady's got curves where it counts.  The shape puts all of the buzzy bits in just the right spot, and let me tell you, that more than makes up for any lack of girth.

Materials:  The business end of this baby is made of TPR - thermoplastic rubber.  It's quite squishy, which I'm normally not too fond of, but in this case, it's a very good thing.  It gives the toy plenty of flexibility, so you can really play with the positioning and get everything right where it needs to be for you.  

Controls:  Super simple.  There's a single button on the base, which turns the toy on, cycles through the three available vibration speeds, and then shuts the toy off.  

Vibration Strength:  As with most of the toys we've reviewed for Cal Exotics, this one's Got plenty of "oomph."  It starts off with a very nice buzz and works up to a powerful vroom.

Noise:  All things considerered, this one's actually fairly quiet.  It's definitely audible, especially on the high setting, but I think it would be quiet enough on the lower settings to go unnoticed behind closed doors.  

Pros: This is unique among our toy collection and it feels like nothing else - and that's a good thing. 

Cons: The only possible con I can even think of is that it feels so wonderful you won't even need a lot of time to come - and is that really a con? ;) 

Overall: Like all of our CalExotics toys, this one is highly recommended.  Get your own here!

Review: 7-Function Silicone Love Rider Dual Action Strap-On

Cal exotics 7-function silicone love rider dual action strap-on

Hi, folks!  Long time no see.  I'm afraid we've had some computer troubles - namely, our monitor went kaput - but now we've got ourselves an iPad, and we're (mostly) back in action!

We had a nice surprise this month from Cal Exotics - a pretty, pink strap-on! 

One can never have too many strap-ons, so needless to say, we were delighted.  We promptly took our new friend for a test drive, and he did not disappoint.

That being said, we did have to improvise a bit with the straps.  Most harnesses tend to be thong style or with two straps connecting the front to the back, both of which can be a bit awkward until you get used to them.  These straps are intended to fit around the top of your thighs and stay out of your way, which is a nice idea, but there's just not enough stretch to the straps for this to work unless you have rather thin thighs.  Which neither of us do.  So we got creative and decided to just position the straps like a regular two-strap harness, tuck them through the back strap, and hope for the best.  I figured they'd slip a bit and require some occassional adjustment, but they actually stayed put remarkably well, and the whole setup turned out to be quite comfy.

 

The surprises were not over though, because not only is this a strap-on, it's a strap-on with a vibe. That was a wonderful addition for both of us, especially for the one wearing the harness. We've found that using a strap-on takes a little adjustment for both of us, especially with a new one, but the experience is always extra intense, and this time was no exception. With the face-to-face contact, the vibration along with the way we were moving together, it was breathtaking.

With the exception of the harness design issue we mentioned, we would highly recommend this kit. 

Review: Jumpin' Gyrator Rocket

Cal Exotics has thoroughly impressed us once again with the Jumpin' Gyrator Rocket - an extra-large, extra-powerful bullet.

Appearance:  Very nice!  I love the pretty purple color that we got, but it's also available in blue and pink.  

Size & Shape:  Great!  This is quite a bit bigger than your usual bullet, but still small enough that it can be inserted, if you wish.  The size is wonderful as it gives you a little more to hold on to and spreads out the vibrations  bit more.  So if you're not fond of really concentrated vibrations but still want to try a bullet vibe, this is the one for you!

Materials:  ABS plastic with PU cote.  Which translates to:  really nice plastic with a smooth, lovely finish.  There's nothing squishy to absorb the vibration, so you get the full force of this powerful little toy, but the plastic still looks and feels nice and is easy to clean up.  This is a great material.

Controls:  This bullet operates with a slide control on the side of the power pack, which couldn't be simpler.  Just slide the switch up to increase the vibration speed and down to decrease it.  It gives you a good deal of control without being finicky.  And the placement is absolutely perfect.  When you hold the power pack, the switch naturally sits right under your thumb.  Perfect!

Vibration Strength:  HOLY CRAP.  I think that sums it up nicely.  This toy could not have been more aptly name.  Even on the lower settings, the vibrations are so powerful that it's hard to hold on to.  It jumps around and gyrates and generally resembles a tiny, handheld rocket.  Unf.

Noise:  Not quiet, as is to be expected from something this powerful.  And of course, the higher the setting, the louder it gets.  And it gets pretty loud.  This is not the toy to get if you're looking for subtlety.  

Pros:  

• Pretty color and design
• Great size and shape for both external use and careful insertion
• Nice, easy-to-clean material
• Simple, intuitive controls
• POWER

Cons:

• Loud and noisy

Overall:  This is another fantastic vibe from Cal Exotics.  It packs a major punch, and it won't break the bank.  I highly recommend this vibe to anyone looking for strong, powerful vibrations or for a bulkier bullet.  Enjoy!

Review: Tantric Binding Love Universal Cuffs

As much as we enjoy all the vibes and toys we receive from the lovely folks at Cal Exotics, it was a nice surprise this month when we got something a little different - these cute cuffs!

Appearance:  Way cute.  And quite classy.  The ribbon is mostly decorative, but it's a nice touch.  And so is the cute, little heart-shaped T-ring.  It's an adorable little detail.

Size:  These cuffs are about as one-size-fits-all as you could get.  They stretch - and they stretch quite a lot - so they should fit just about anyone.  They even fit my teeny-tiny wrists pretty well.  And the stretch means you could use them as ankle cuffs, as well.  

Materials:  The cuffs themselves are a pretty heavy-duty black elastic.  Think Ace bandage.  The ring is a non-tarnishing, nickel-free alloy, so it should hold up well and look nice for years to come.  The satin ribbons are a bit of a disappointment, though.  They're not the nice, soft kind of satin ribbon, but the cheaper, stiffer kind.  They still look pretty cute, but I'd have been much happier had the ribbons been a bit nicer.  I kind of have a thing for ribbons, though, so I might just be super picky...

Function:  Good!  Obviously, these cuffs are mostly just for fun.  You (or your sub) could easily slip out of them unassisted, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.  These would be perfect for introducing someone to bondage, especially if they were a bit nervous.  You get the feeling of restraint with the assurance that you can get free quickly, if need be.  And even if you're more "advanced," and into more intense play, it wouldn't hurt to have these on hand for those times when you don't feel up to anything heavy.  

The one downside is that, since the cuffs are connected - there's a seem in the middle that holds them together - you're limited to that one configuration.  Still, it's a pretty classic position anyway, and there's plenty you can do with it.  

Pros:  Inexpensive, unintimidating, fairly durable, can be used on wrists or ankles, fit a wide range of sizes

Cons:  quality of ribbons could be better, limited to light play, limited to one configuration

Overall:  These are very nice cuffs for a great price.  They'd be absolutely perfect for beginners, but a nice item for a more experienced player's arsenal, as well.  They're cute and comfy and serve the purpose rather well without being intimidating or difficult to use.  These babies are simple and sweet!  So go grab a pair now!

Review: 10 Function Clitoral Hummer

Appearance:  Quite pretty.  The pastel colors (ours is purple!) and the smooth curves make this vibe feel very "girly" to me.  

Size & Shape:  Size isn't much of an issue as this isn't really an insertable toy (I suppose you could insert it, if you really wanted to, though).  That being said, it does fit your hand nicely, and the length makes it very comfortable to use - on a partner or yourself.  

The shape is the interesting part of this toy.  One side of the tip has an intriguing little "scoop" shape and the other has a nice little bloop.  The scoop is made to fit the clitoris, and though I was initially skeptical that it would really make a difference, I have to say, it feels amazing.  It's quite a different sensation than a bullet or any other type of vibe provides.  And that nub on the other side offers an intense, targeted sensation, so you can change things up just by turning the vibe around, which helps keep things interesting.  

Materials:  ABS Plastic (very nice, very smooth) with a silver plated ring

Controls:  A button on the very end works in a very simple manner, exactly as you'd expect, which is perfect for this toy, because you're going to be a little distracted. Make that a lot distracted.  Hold down the button to turn it on, push it again to change vibration patterns, and hold it down again to turn it off.  Easy!

Vibration Strength: Intense, in the most wonderful way. Varies from steady to pulsing to alternating patterns.

Noise: Fairly quiet for a vibe this powerful. You might be able to hear it from an adjoining room if the house was really quiet.

Pros:  Unique shape, simple controls, waterproof

Cons:  Haven't found any yet.

Overall: This is by far our favorite vibe, now. It's completely unique and the sensation is fantastic no matter which side you're using. We highly recommend it.  It is a little pricier than some of the toys we've reviewed, but it's still around $20 and completely worth the extra for the unique factor. Plus, it's really nicely made and quality is always worth paying a little more for.  You'll get a toy that lasts as long as you need it to....and then some.  So what are you waiting for?  Go get yours now!

Review: Cal Exotics Water Missile Tear Drop Probe

Appearance:  Quite lovely.  It's very curvy and feminine.  Rather graceful.  Ours is actually teal rather than the purple pictures, and it's a very pretty color.  

Size & Shape:  That graceful, curvy shape that's so nice to look out also feels quite nice.  It's a simple shape, but very effective.  The size is more  substantial than it looks.  At first, I thought it might be a bit too big for effective insertion, but it's definitely not.  You'll probably need a good warm up first for insertion to be comfortable, but once you get there it feels amazing.  For me, at least, the size is perfect.  That being said, if you do find it a bit too large for insertion, the size and shape are still very nice externally.

Materials:  ABS Plastic.  Nothing soft and squishy here, which means plenty of strong, intense vibration.  The plastic is very smooth, and the only seam is at the end around the battery compartment.  Cleanup is easy too - this toy's waterproof!

Controls:  This vibe uses a dial on the end to turn it on and off and control the vibration speed.  Turn it one way, and the speed increases.  Turn it back the other way and it slows down, and eventually shuts off.  Simple.  Also a bit awkward, especially in the middle of things.  You can change the speed during use, but you probably won't want to bother.  

Vibration Strength:  Like most of the vibes I've reviewed from Cal Exotics, this one packs a punch.  But it also has a nice range.  The lower end offers a nice, gentle buzz or you can crank it up for something more intense.  

Noise:  On the lower settings, this one's actually fairly quiet.  You could probably use it behind closed doors without attracting unwanted attention.  That being said, it does get pretty loud when you turn it up to the higher settings.  

Pros:  

• The size and shape are wonderful.  That lovely bloop is great for stimulating the g-spot, and even if you don't insert it, this vibe still feels quite lovely.  
• It offers a full range of vibration speeds from pretty tame all the way up to quite intense.  
• It's easy to clean and it's waterproof!

Cons:  

• The controls are a bit awkward to operate during use

Overall:   This is another very nice vibe from Cal Exotics.  At only $12.99, it's a great value for the price!  I would recommend it to anyone looking for a good waterproof toy that won't break the bank.

Date Night

Hi folks!  I know it's been a while since I posted anything here that wasn't one of our monthly Cal Exotics Sexpert reviews, and I'm terribly sorry for that.  I'm afraid things have been rather hectic between moving and getting a new house in order and the holidays and all...

But now it's the start of a new year and things are a bit calmer, so hopefully I can get back to posting with some regularity.  And speaking of doing things regularly...

After a lot of "hey, one of these we totally ought to..." kind of conversations, we have instituted an official "Date Night".  Every Friday evening when Miss K. comes home from work, we have a special dinner then head upstairs and spend the rest of the night in bed.

Initially, I have to admit, we felt a bit silly.  Surely the fact that we were now scheduling our playtime was a sign that we were getting old and boring.  However, having done this for a few weeks now, I can assure you that is not the case.  It's been anything but boring.  In fact, we've have some of the best sex ever these last few weeks.

Having a specific time set aside helps ensure that we get some fun time together every single week, no matter what.  And it gives us both something to look forward to every week also.  It's breathed new life into our sex life, which was already pretty damn good.  Now, it's absolutely fucking fantastic.  Seriously.

So if you've ever even considered trying something like this, go for it!  And if you haven't, do it now!  I can't guarantee you'll have the same results.  Everyone is different, after all, and what works for us, may not work as well for other couples.  But it can't hurt, right?

Now, tell me folks, do the rest of you have a "date night" or do you just wing it?  What are your thoughts on the matter?  Leave a comment and share with the rest of the class. ;)

Review: THE ACCOMMODATOR

Appearance:  Undeniably hilarious.  I challenge anyone to stick a dildo on your chin and not giggle.  Go on.  Try it.  Can't do it, can you?  I sure couldn't.  I looked at it and laughed.  I tried it on... and laughed.  I stuck it on my forehead and proclaimed myself The Dildocorn.  And laughed.  

I feel I should add, though, that the dildo itself is quite lovely.  We got the black version, and there are few things sexier than black latex.  It starts out dull but we've discovered that with some use it develops a lovely shine.  And using your vagina to shine your latex?  That's pretty hot.

Size & Shape:  It's pretty substantial.  Not too big, but you'll definitely want to warm up a bit before you try and use it. As far as the shape goes, it doesn't look all that exciting.  It's totally smooth, but it does have a subtle curve that feels pretty freakin' fantastic in use.

Materials:  Latex.  I was already a huge fan of latex garments, but this is the first latex toy I've tried, and I have to say, I think I'm hooked.  It's a great material for a toy, since it has a nice balance between firmness and flexibility.  The only downside - and it's not really downside for me, personally - is that you may need a bit of extra lubrication for things to be totally comfortable.  

Function:  To be perfectly honest, I was a bit hesitant to try this thing as it is intended to be used.  It just looked like it would be so awkward.  It was a good concept, but I just couldn't imagine it working that well.  So the first few times we played with it, we used it just like any other dildo.  And it was great.  

But I couldn't write this review without trying it properly at least once.  So I found my spirit of adventure, gathered myself, and stuck it on my head.  We both laughed hysterically, and got a bit distracted as we started plotting a webshow in which I would discuss very serious matters while wearing a zentai suit and my chindick (which I still think is a pretty fantastic idea).  But eventually, we steered things back into serious, sexy territory, and I... dove in, so to speak.  

In truth, it took a bit of maneuvering and fiddling to get things right.  Steering a chindick is a bit of a challenge.  That being said however, once it was in place, it quickly became quite apparent just how wrong we had been about this contraption.  

It actually works really, really well.  Miss K quite obviously enjoyed herself thoroughly, and I had plenty of fun as well.  Having the dildo there to help out made it easier to relax and enjoy myself, whereas I usually feel like I'm not quite doing enough and I need to find a way to ramp things up a bit.  

I can hardly believe I'm saying this, but what it may lack in form, this thing totally makes up for in function.  Just don't expect to keep a straight face when you're wearing it.

Pros:  Latex - nice looking and cleans up easily; Nice, moderate size; Very pleasant shape;  Makes cunnilingus more enjoyable for both parties

Cons:  Looks ridiculous (though, this could be a pro, depending on how you look at things)

Overall:  It wasn't love at first sight, but The Accommodator really won me over.  If you're looking for something to spice things up, it would be well worth trying out.  Even if you didn't enjoy using it as intended, you'd still have a nice latex dildo.  You can snag it from Cal Exotics for only $26.99.

Review: Cal Exotics Bound by Diamonds Diamond Teaser

This time of year is pretty busy for most people, and we're no exception. Still, it was a wonderful surprise when our next toy to review arrived. We've only had mere minutes of free time this month, rather than hours of playtime, but with this powerful little vibe - the Bound by Diamonds Diamond Teaser by Cal Exotics -  minutes are all you need. Make sure you have a few AAA batteries and a nice comfy, sturdy spot. 

Appearance:  one of my favorites, black and chrome with little rhinestones in the controller

Size & Shape: small and compact, because....well it's a bullet

Materials: ABS plastic with a lovely satin finish, which makes it feel nice and luxurious.

Controls: very simple and easy to use - just two buttons on the controller.  The top button turns the toy on and increases the spead while the bottom button slows things down and eventually turns the toy off.

Vibration Strength: 5 levels, very intense, especially considering how little it is. There's an especially noticeable difference between level three and two - from a strong rumble to a toe-curling, spine-tingling buzz - but even level one is  strong enough for me. All the way up to level five is breathtakingly wonderful.

Noise: this is not a particularly quiet toy, I have to say, certainly not on the higher speeds

Pros: This is one of our strongest vibes, and it's a great value. It's a very pretty little toy. and it's certainly small enough to store pretty much anywhere. 

Cons: It's not especially quiet, but I'd rather have a nice intense vibe than a superquiet one. It might be a little too intense for some, particularly on the higher levels, but there's no reason you can't stick with the first level in that case. 

Overall: This is a well-made, inexpensive, strong bullet. The only downside is the noise level being a bit high, but to us that's pretty minor. 

Review: Cal Exotics First Time Softee Pleaser

Some of the toys we receive get ripped out of their packaging immediately and tested out the moment we're both at home with nothing more pressing to attend to.  Others, due to a variety of circumstances, get set aside and have to wait a bit.  It's not that we aren't excited about them.  Life just has other plans some days.  But whenever a toy gets set aside, it seems like a perfect opportunity always presents itself.  Perhaps it's just a coincidence.  Or perhaps the Sex Toy Gods are smiling upon us.  Whatever the case, it's wonderfully serendipitous.  

Our most recent acquisition, the First Time Softee Pleaser from Cal Exotics was one such toy.  It arrived in the midst of a few rather busy days.  We kept saying to each other, "Hey, we need to try out our new little friend" and then being entirely to tired to do so by the time we got finished with everything else.  And then one evening, Miss K suggested we have a bath together.  Immediately, the proverbial lightbulb over my head lit up, and while she was filling up the tub, I ran upstairs to grab our new toy.  I just happened to remember that it was waterproof, so what better environment in which to test it out than the bath?

We were quickly and thoroughly impressed by the remarkable power of this little vibe.  If you're looking for a good, powerful vibe that won't break the bank, you can't go wrong with this one.  It's at least as powerful as the Warm-n-Glow Vibe we reviewed last month, but it has the added advantage of a nice, squishy outer layer and a better shape for insertion.

Now let's take a look at the details shall we?

Name:  First Time Softee Pleaser

Manufacturer:  Cal Exotics

Price:  $14.99

Appearance:  Cute!  Ours is pink, but it also comes in purple.  It's smooth and sleek and quite feminine.

Size & Shape:  Great!  It's big enough to be satisfying without being too big.  And the shape, with that little bend at the tip, is just right for hitting the G spot.

Materials:  Very nice.  The vibe itself is hard ABS plastic, which transmits vibrations wonderfully.  But what makes this little baby a cut above your standard plastic vibe is the soft plastic sleeve.  It's wonderfully squishy and feels fantastic, but it's still thin enough that it doesn't hinder the vibrations.  Plus, with the hard plastic underneath, you have plenty of control, and if a little pressure is what you need, you can get it.  All in all, it's the best of both worlds.

Controls:  Not bad.  To turn the vibe on and off and control the speed, you turn the dial on the bottom.  This gives you a lot of control over the speed.  You can go from Barely Noticeable Buzz to Small Jet Engine as quickly or as slowly as you like, and hit any point in between as well.  If you're going to take advantage of this toy's waterproof-ness, note that the controls can be a bit difficult to operate with wet hands.  

Also, the dial is part of the battery cap, which means that if you turn it the wrong way, you'll open the battery compartment.  This isn't such a big deal on dry land, but it could be bad news in the tub, so make sure you only turn the dial on the end - not the entire cap!

Runs On:  2 AAA batteries

Vibration Strength:  Variable.  On the lowest setting it's barely a whisper.  Crank it all the way up and...  well, you better buckle your seatbelt and hold on tight. It's amazing.  I'm pretty sure you could find a speed to please absolutely anyone.

Noise:  Also variable.  It's not too bad on the lowest settings, but on the upper end, it sounds like a small jet engine too.  If you're trying to keep quiet, you'd be better to look elsewhere.  That being said, using it in the water does muffle the sound quite a bit.  

Pros:  Wonderful size and shape; incredible range of speed and strength, nice materials

Cons:  Controls can be somewhat troublesome; very noisy on higher settings

Overall:  I'd give this one an A.  It's a really nice vibe for only $15, and as the name suggests, it would be great for a novice toy user.  But don't think it doesn't offer plenty for the more experienced.  With it's nice mid-range size and variable speed, I'd recommend this vibe to pretty much anyone.

Review: Cal Exotics Warm-n-Glow Vibe

Well, folks, we're finally all moved into our new house, and though there's still a lot of unpacking to be done, we've settled in quite nicely.  Our refrigerator is full, the DVD player is hooked up, approximately 1/3 of our library has been unpacked, and the UPS guy has found us.  He came meandering up our driveway last week while I was organizing bath products and dropped off a lovely gift from those fine folks at Cal Exotics.

Of course, I pranced back into the house and opened the package immediately.  And this is what greeted me:

The Warm-n-Glow Vibe, which is just what it sounds like - a vibrator that warms up and glows.  It definitely looked cool.  And so I immediately ran off in search of batteries.  Fortunately, I packed the batteries in the same box as necessities like our hammer and tape measure, so they had already been unearthed.  So I popped in a couple of AA's, pushed the button, and smiled like a shark as our new little friend sprang to life.  I couldn't wait to get ahold of Mistress K with this thing.  

There were two things I noted right away:

1) There was indeed an almost immediate, rather subtle, but very nice warming effect

and 

2) This little thing was a powerhouse.  Seriously.

I have to confess that I gave serious thought to running off and trying it myself right then and there.  But I didn't.  I decided to wait for Miss K to come home instead.  It was a long wait.  But well worth it.  

We have collected a number of vibes by now, most of which have various speeds.  Their "low" settings are rarely used around here.  Miss K and I both prefer good, strong vibrations.  None of this subtlety crap for us.  Oh, no.  So I did what I usually do - turned our new friend on, teased my squirming Mistress with the low setting for a minute or two, then switched to the higher setting and really got things going.

That's how it usually goes anyway.  This time, however, was a little different.  For one thing, I cannot, in good conscience, use the term "teasing" in conjunction with the "low" setting on this vibe.  I hesitate to even use the word "low."  Because there's really nothing low about it.  The settings are more like "high" and "really high."  Which, if you're like us, is great.  It just required a bit more of a warm-up than I'm used to.  A third, lower setting would be nice for that purpose and for those who prefer things a bit less intense, but I'm not about to complain.  Once you are good and warmed up those nice, strong vibrations are absolutely delicious.

Another nice feature is the warming effect.  It's subtle, but definitely noticeable, and it feels very nice.  The "glow" part of Warm-n-Glow is pretty cool too.  If you're a sci-fi geek like I am, it will probably call to mind an alien probe or some such, which could make for some very interesting roleplay scenarios, if you're into that sort of thing.  Always a nice bonus.

The size and shape are pretty perfect as well.  It's not made for any sort of deep thrusting, but it can be inserted, and it feels fantastic.  What makes this toy really great, however, is the flexible joint in the middle that allows you to get the angle just right no matter how you're using it.  It's nice to use on a partner because you don't have to contort yourself into any uncomfortable positions.  And if you're flying solo, you needn't worry about those damnable wrist cramps that you get with less flexible toys.  

The Warm-n-Glow Vibe is made of ABS plastic, which I would normally consider a minor drawback, but it's a very nice plastic with a smooth, satin finish that feels great and transmits those powerful vibrations far better than any other material could.  It runs on 2 AA batteries, and I was initially worried that it would devour them, but they've lasted through two reasonably lengthy playtime sessions so far, and seem to be running strong soon.  

Of all the Cal Exotics toys we've tried thus far, I'd say this one is the best.  The quality is really outstanding for a vibe that retails for just $20.  I would wholeheartedly recommend this toy to absolutely anyone who's in the market for a new vibe.  I can't recommend it enough.

Review: Cal Exotics Lighted Shimmers LED Glider Teaser

This was a nice little surprise, as we weren't expecting it, in the middle of moving.  Unexpected packages are always a nice.  Unexpected packages containing sex toys?  I don't know about you, but that's enough to make my day.

This month, the lovely folks at Cal Exotics sent us the Lighted Shimmers LED Glider Teaser. It's certainly a pretty little toy, with its sparkly pink controller.  The bullet is a nice translucent pink as well, and both are made of ABS plastic.


The bullet also lights up, though it wasn't dark enough in our bedroom to really appreciate it and the light seemed a bit weak.  


There's a little wheel on the side of the controller to turn the vibe on and off and change the intensity level, and it's a little unwieldy to use.  I had a hard time operating it with one hand, but it should be noted that I have really small hands.  If yours are larger than the average ten-year-old's, you'll probably be fine.


As for the important part, it's a nice little vibe, but a little too weak to be my favorite.  Also our batteries died really quickly.  But they were batteries we happened to have lying around, so they may have been old.  We haven't had the chance yet to try a fresh set - did I mentions we're moving? - but once we do, we'll be sure to share the results. 


All in all, this a nice little toy.  At only $17.99 it certainly won't break the bank, and would be a great gift for your favorite toy novice or anyone enjoys a lower intensity vibe.

Pros:

Appealing color

Variable speed/intensity

Novelty of the light-up feature 

A pretty good little bullet for a reasonable price

Would be great for someone who likes a lower-intensity vibe 

Would make a great gift 

Cons:

Might possibly be a battery hog 

A little too weak for us
Potentially unwieldy controls

Review: Cal Exotics Foreplay Ice Chill

Being a big fan of Cal Exotics and their high quality, affordable toys, I was quite excited to become an official Cal Exotics Sexpert.  This means I get a new toy to review every month!  And my first package could not have come at a better time.

It has been one hot month.  Just stepping outside for a few minutes to water the plants or check the mail is enough to leave you feeling roasted.  So when we came home one day after a sweltering round of errand running, in need of a quick way to cool off, I smiled smugly and ran to the freezer.  But I was not seeking popsicles or ice cream sandwiches.  Oh, no.  I had a vibrator in my freezer.

I see that face your making.  I vibrator?  In the freezer?  Really?  

Yep.  Those innovative folks at Cal Exotics have created a whole line of freezable vibes.  They sent me the Foreplay Ice Chill, which consists of a small silicone "handle," a mold, and a bullet vibe.  You fill the mold with water, place the handle on top, and pop the whole thing in the freezer.  Once it's frozen 2-4 hours later, you take it out, peel the mold off, and place the bullet in the hole in the middle of the handle.  And voila!  You have what amounts to a textured, vibrating ice cube.

Preparation is just a wee bit fiddly.  There is a line on the mold show you how much to fill it, but you still have to experiment a bit to get just the right level so that when you put the handle in, the water comes to the top but doesn't overflow.  Once it's frozen the mold peels off easily.  So all I had to do was grab it, peel the mold off, toss it aside, and insert the bullet - all of which took only a minute or two.  

I must confess, I'm a bit of a sadist, so when Miss K. started squealing and squirming when I trailed the ice along her arm, I couldn't wait to have a go at her more sensitive bits.  And I learned two things very quickly.  1) The ice is much too cold to be used for direct clitoral stimulation for any length of time at all, and 2) the vibration through the silicone and ice is barely noticeable.  Just the other day, Miss K. turned things around on me, and I learned something else.  I really underestimated just how cold that ice really is.  Especially on your girly bits.  Brrrrrr!  

Overall, the Foreplay Ice Chill is a nice toy.  It's fun, especially if you enjoy a bit of teasing and torment - which we certainly do.  The ice melts slowly enough that you can have a good bit of fun with it, but quickly enough that you don't get bored before it's gone.  Plus, once the ice is all melted, the bullet can be easily removed from the handle and the fun can continue.  And let me tell you, though it doesn't do much when everything is put together, on its own that bullet is a little powerhouse.  

So if you're in the market for a good bullet vibe and something to spice up your foreplay - or something to keep you from having a heatstroke when it's 90+ degrees and you have no air conditioning - the Foreplay Ice Chill would be a good buy.  

e[lust] #27

Photo courtesy of A Bedroom Blog

Welcome to e[lust] - Your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #28? Start with the rules and subscribe to the RSS feed and Twitter for updates and submission reminders.
~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~
Ruby LOVES her body, so should YOU - What ever size you are, love yourself, be nice to yourself and concentrate on health instead of looks.
Performances - So, of course, I don’t have any sensation in my cock, but holy baby Jeebus, sinking into her is so fucking hot that I groan right along with her.
10 reasons why I shouldn't have had sex, but did anyway - I’ve written extensively about happy-sex; so now here are some of the more unpleasant reasons why I’ve had sex.
~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~
Energy Orgasms - There is a moment, an incredible moment, when it feels like the universe is concentrated in my body.
e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable ~after this point~. Thank you, and enjoy!
Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships
A response to: #Slutwalk will not show our daughters how to get respect
Accidents Happen
All the Time in the World
Dear Jane: How Do I Gain Sensitivity Back After Masturbating Too Much?
Friday Flix: 10 Things We Would Like to Say
Hole. Confession #573
Look at me (please)
Lusting After Sexually Confident Women and HNT
Oh Really?
Sex Toy Collecting
Why Can't I Orgasm?
Kink & Fetish
5 Kinky Toys from the Restaurant Supply Store
A Piece of Meat
Being a Domme, Alone
Daddy's Good Girl
Emotional Masochism
Fucktoy Friday: Urethra Play
Good Morning
Inexorable Love
More Adventures in Chastity
New figure nudes
Plugged
Erotic Writing
Continentally Close
Entwined
First Memory of Sex with Nicole
Far From the Madding Crowd
First kiss
green candle wax
Happy Birthday Baby Girl
Lusty Lips
My first swinging experience
Seducing my Professor
sexy bitch/sexy beast
Strapping On For the First Time
seminar slut
To seduce you
The Minotaur
Twisted Words
The Heist
Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor
Gender Celebration Blog Carnival – A Call for Submissions
Marilyn Monroe: A Sex Goddess Searches For Her Elusive Orgasm
Welcome

Review: Fun Factory Smartballs Teneo

If you've ever read or heard any advice ever about improving your sex life - having orgasms, having better orgasms, having more orgasms - then chances are, you've heard about kegel exercises.  The consensus seems to be that if you have any interest in sex at all, you ought to be doing them.  And why not?  They're pretty simple.  All you have to do is alternately tighten and release your pubococcygeus - or PC - muscle, the same one you use to start and stop the flow of urine when you tinkle.  Piece of cake, right?

But kegel exercises aren't like bicep curls or any other strength training exercise.  And if you're anything like me, you may wonder if you're doing it right or doing enough or if you're even using the right muscle at all.  How do you know?  Well, fortunately for us, there happen to be a number of products on the market that are made for exercising your PC muscle.

One such product is FunFactory's Smartballs Teneo.  These lightly weighted silicone balls, when inserted vaginally, cause your PC muscle to automatically contract, providing the exercise needed without any conscious effort on your part (wouldn't it be nice if all exercise was like that?).  So all you have to do is insert them/it - the Smartballs come in singles and, for a more intense workout, doubles - and go on about your business.  While you're doing the dishes/grocery shopping/ballroom dancing/whatever the balls work their magic and your PC muscle gets a great workout.  

That's the theory anyway.  So how well does it really work?  Fantastically.  

As soon as I opened my box from Good Vibrations, who were kind enough to send me one of these little guys to try, I knew I was in for a treat.  They sent me the single-ball version in pink, which peeked out enticingly from Fun Factory's sleek, grey packaging.  I opened it to find, in addition to the product itself, an instruction sheet, a pamphlet featuring some of the company's other products, and a sample packet of lube.  And when I picked up the Smartball itself, I couldn't wait to have it inside me.

It's made of a deliciously smooth silicone, but the pattern on it's surface gives it some texture.  It's about 1.5" in diameter - substantial but not overly large.  It's hollow inside, and if you shake it, you can hear and feel the little weighted ball that rattles around and provides the "vibration"* that stimulates your PC muscle and makes this whole thing work.

I learned a couple of things about the Smartballs right off the bat.  Firstly, you definitely need to use lube when you insert them.  The silicone is nice and smooth, but it's not slick.  Without proper lubrication, it would tend to stick and drag against your skin, and that is not a sensation you want where your junk is concerned.  So lube up, honey.  Secondly, when it comes to the Smartballs, quicker is better.  This is not a dildo.  It doesn't start out small and get bigger toward the base.  It's pretty much one size.  And that one size is pretty substantial.  

The first time I inserted my ball, I tried to take it slowly and gently, eeeeasing it it.  Fortunately, there is a little groove at the base for you finger that makes this much easier.  Still, it was pretty uncomfortable until it finally sort of popped in.  I have sense discovered that you're better off using what I like to call the "band-aid method."  Taking off a band-aid is uncomfortable, and there's not getting around it, so you just rip it off as quickly as possible.  Similarly, inserting the Smartballs is slightly uncomfortable, and there's no getting around it, so it's best to just shove them in as quickly as possible.  Of course, you should use your noodle here.  If the discomfort is anything more than minor or there is any pain involved, STOP.  Do not pass go.  Do not stick these things in your vagina.  Some people just might not be able to use these.  

All that being said, this is the only downside I've discovered.  Once their in, the Smartballs are quite comfortable.  Not to mention, pleasurable.  Whenever you move, that little weighted ball inside the Smartballs' shell moves too.  And you can feel it.  It's a very unique sensation, and I honestly don't know how to describe it other than to say it feels really nice.  And if you get them positioned right, the Smartballs will also stimulate your g-spot - which is probably part of the reason for their size.  I don't think I need to tell you how nice that is.  Plus, you can tell they're working.  You can feel your PC muscle contracting, so you know you're getting the workout you need.

Removing the Smartballs is much like inserting them - best done quickly.  All you need to do is pull the loop, but you need to do so a bit more forcefully than you would think.  The loop is made of silicone as well, so it will stretch.  I find pulling firmly and quickly is best.  There's a similar minor discomfort as when inserting.  The stimulation is just so intense.  But then the ball pops out and, if you're anything like me, you're left laying there going, "Wow..." for a moment.

All in all, I love the Smartballs.  They're easy to use, effective, and totally discreet.  You could wear these anywhere, during virtually any activity and - unless you have trouble concealing your... uh... true feelings - no one would ever have any idea.  Since they're silicone, they're a snap to clean up.  Just wash them with a little mild soap, and you're good to go.  

I don't think I've worn them long enough or consistently enough to produce any major, lasting results, but I have no doubt that these would definitely help to strengthen your PC muscle.  I've definitely developed a greater awareness of mine.  And long-term benefits aside, these are just fun to use.  Even if you just use them occasionally to make your household chores a bit more interesting, I think they're well worth it.  

What Miss K has to say:  

I wore the Smartball to work for an afternoon, as my job is pretty active. It was a little difficult to get in at first, but nothing that a little lube didn't help. And once it was in place, it stayed perfectly, no matter if I was walking, sitting, stretching, bending over, whatever. That little weight is certainly interesting. =) The Smartball is totally fine for getting in your Kegel exercises. At times I even forgot it was in there. But not for too long. =) I don't think I've used it enough to be able to tell the difference, but I'm sure I will soon, and even if not, it's certainly lots of fun. 

So there you have it.  Miss K. and I both give the Smartballs Teneo a big thumbs up.  Head on over to Goodvibes now and get yours for 15% off!

  *They say "vibration," but we're not talking vibration in the traditional, battery-operated, vroom-vroom sense.  I can't really think of a better word for it, though, so... yeah.  We'll just call it vibration.